Tackling the TBR Week 23: June 15 - June 21, 2019

Each week I will be keeping track of books that I have read from my TBR. I have a huge backlog of books and often end up reading new books that are not even on my list, instead of trying to whittle down the list that continues to balloon up on Goodreads. Chuckles had the idea first, and we are going to use this as a chance to encourage each other to get those books read instead of always grabbing new ones and thus never making a dent in the physical and digital stacks we already have. It will also give us a chance to take a good look at our lists and see if there are ones we are no longer interested in. We will be posting on the 7th, 14th, 21st, and the last day of the month.

Previous Week's TBR Total: 3,395

Books Added to TBR: 19

Books Removed from TBR: 49

Currently Reading: 6

Books Read: 5

Books DNF-ed: 0

New TBR Total: 3,362

I had time this week to do a bit better job of culling the list for books I am no longer interested in and once again am moving in the right direction!

Happy Reading!
Sarah

Tackling the TBR Week 22: June 8 - June 14, 2019

Each week I will be keeping track of books that I have read from my TBR. I have a huge backlog of books and often end up reading new books that are not even on my list, instead of trying to whittle down the list that continues to balloon up on Goodreads. Chuckles had the idea first, and we are going to use this as a chance to encourage each other to get those books read instead of always grabbing new ones and thus never making a dent in the physical and digital stacks we already have. It will also give us a chance to take a good look at our lists and see if there are ones we are no longer interested in. We will be posting on the 7th, 14th, 21st, and the last day of the month.

Previous Week's TBR Total: 3,394

Books Added to TBR: 5

Books Removed from TBR: 0

Currently Reading: 5

Books Read: 6

Books DNF-ed: 1

New TBR Total: 3,395

Happy Reading!
Sarah

Stacking the Shelves #51

Stacking the Shelves is a weekly feature co-hosted by Tynga's Reviews and Reading Reality. It is a chance to showcase all the goodies you've collected throughout the week, whether they're bought on-line or in-store, an ARC or a final copy, borrowed from a friend or the library, physical or digital, etc. Never has my addiction been more obvious than when I am now keeping track of every single book I acquire.

Library Treasures
Downloads

 

Physical Copies
          

What did you add to your stash this week?

Happy Reading!

Sarah

Book Review: Report From Ground Zero + Jon Stewart Kicking Ass

Rating: 5 Stars

I was all set to do a double-review post with this book and another about September 11th, until I saw that Jon Stewart was trending on Twitter earlier this morning, and as I just checked again tonight, he still is.

I greatly admire Jon Stewart. I never missed an episode of The Daily Show when he hosted for all those years, and appreciated the fact that, while he clearly leans Liberal, he was willing to take any politician to task for being an idiot or doing something stupid. Throughout the election season I hoped and hoped and hoped he would come out of hibernation and sure enough, he appeared on Colbert's show and my heart was happy.

Since his retirement from the daily grind of news and politics, Stewart has not been idle. He has been an extremely active and vocal supporter of the First Responders Fund and today he was trending because once again, Congress can not get their shit together and do right by these brave men and women who ran into burning buildings in the hopes of rescuing as many as possible. Many have become dangerously ill in the aftermath and instead of doing the right thing and making funding for their care permanent, these assholes think that making the First Responders come back constantly to answer their stupid questions is a good idea.

Please watch this clip and listen to Stewart's verbal ass-kicking of those who could not even be bothered to show up for the hearing. Because of this event occurring today, this is why I felt I had to review this particular book on its own, because the men and women who ran in when everyone else was running out did their jobs exactly as they were supposed. The least we can do now is our jobs, and make sure they and their families are taken care of.

I am so glad the First Responders have such a dedicated champion in Stewart, and I hope Congress wakes the fuck up and stops dicking around with their health.

Now, onto the book...

It was really hard to read. I cried a lot. There were stretches of time that I had to put the book down and give myself a break. It was traumatic then, and it's traumatic to this day. At around 100 pages in, I was considering DNF-ing it - while simultaneously giving it five stars, That might be a first, no? But I kept going, because these are stories that need to be told. If we truly are going to #NeverForget, then we owe it to all who perished to learn their stories, and those who survived, to listen as they recount the terrible things they saw that day. Otherwise that hashtag promise doesn't mean a thing.

Imagine being a parent, and also being a fire-fighter. Your child, a fire-fighter as well, is among the missing. Day after day after day you go to Ground Zero, hoping and praying that today is the day. Today will be the day you find your baby, and you get to take him home to your family, and lay him to rest.

At the beginning of the book the author listed the name of all the firefighters lost that day. Every time a new account started, or a new name was mentioned, I would flip to that list and hope that particular person survived. I was disappointed many times.

I connected deeply to the stories themselves, either from survivors or from the loved ones of those who died. Their words are so critically important, we can not ever lose those stories. The part I struggled with a lot was the author's own habit of inserting himself into the narrative. His expertise mattered in the realm of explaining how the crews were sent out, the difference between the companies (ladder vs engine), and so on. I have no concrete knowledge of how firehouses operate and I found those details helpful in understanding how and why so many from certain houses were lost, while fewer firefighters died from other houses. But the rest felt kind of like he was also showing off, and it honestly pains me to write that, because this book is still important and it is still a must-read for those interested in learning all they can about September 11th. The author talked about many of the firehouses he visited in the aftermath, and of going down to Ground Zero often, and we were usually given a side order of how popular he was with the firemen, though he was retired, and how he knows so many people. He mentions his previous book a few times, Report from Engine Company 82, and I am torn between believing that he is using it to show that he is knowledgeable vs him showing off.

Even with the off-putting tone of the author personally, there is value here. Highly recommended.

Review Bomb: Scott Peterson is Lower than Scum

The brutal murder of Laci Peterson and her unborn baby, Connor, captivated the country for years. I personally think Scott Peterson is guilty, and have never wavered from that position. There were too many red flags even in those early days of the search for Laci and Connor, and everything played out on national television. Instead of justice being served in the form of the death sentence being carried out, I firmly believe he should be left to sit in his cell for 24 hours a day; for a sociopath, this is the ultimate punishment: he was caught.

 2 Stars

I read this one because I feel like Frey was treated somewhat unfairly by some in the media, and the public at large. She couldn't have known that the man she was set up with on a blind date would turn out to be a sociopath who would go on to murder his wife and unborn child. I do believe Amber was genuine in her desire to help investigators - and indeed, much of what she recorded of her and Scott's conversations did help the prosecution build their case. 

However, there are two things in this book, both written word and in photographs, that were wholly inappropriate and should never have been included.

The first issue I have with the book is in the photo section. I found it very tasteless to include a picture of investigators carrying a body bag that contained Laci's remains. There was simply no need for it. By the time Frey's book came out, the public had been over-saturated with that tragic image, and it was not Frey's place to include it. (Also, the modeling photos she did when she was younger were kind of pointless.)

The second thing I have a major major major issue with is this quote from page 188: "The day you went to the police, you became Laci's voice. All this time, you've been speaking for Laci."

Seriously? No. No, no, no, no, no. No.

Frey was NEVER Laci's voice, no matter how much she had contributed to the investigation. Laci was denied her voice the moment Scott murdered her, and Connor. To say that anyone is speaking for Laci is wrong, and I feel like it was an attempt to get the public on Frey's side - there were plenty of people who called her a homewrecker and other such terrible names, even when it was clear she had not idea that Peterson was married. For me however, and others I am sure, that strategy backfired, because it is a wholly inappropriate statement to make.

I found it interesting to see how she and Scott met, and some of Frey's own background information was relevant because it showed how vulnerable she was, given her past relationships. Unfortunately she also comes off as not very bright. I can think of one instance in particular, when Scott tells her she can write to him at this PO Box, and he will get her letters. She asks how he would get them when he is traveling, and says the Post Office will forward his mail to wherever he is. Um, really? Because that's not how that works. I feel like she really wanted to believe him and believe in their relationship, so either she ignored things like that, or had no idea that that's not really possible.

The writing is not great. I was not expecting a literary masterpiece, but I could also do without the cliches. A lot of the book was also word-for-word transcriptions of her conversations with Scott. Those actually made me pretty angry, reading all of his lies and bullshit on the page, knowing that he has yet to murder the wife he already claims he "lost". I wanted to be like, "Bitch, you didn't lose her! You put Laci in the bay yourself, you psychopath!" but I restrained myself. Barely. The conversations did reinforce the idea though that Peterson is absolutely a pathological liar, if there is still any doubt. It is terrifying how easily the lies seemed to just roll right off his tongue.

I do truly feel bad for Amber, who was a victim in all of Peterson's lies. But her situation in no way compares to what Laci's family has gone through every moment of every day since Laci and Connor were so cruelly taken from them. And while I understand Frey's want/need to have her story told accurately, please don't go on and on about how you want privacy...but then write a book about the whole experience that put you in the spotlight to begin with.


 2 Stars

This book bordered on ridiculous at times, and I almost quit reading it on more than one occasion, because it is just that fucking nuts.

Anyone who has heard of this case (which would be most of America over the age of 30, as Laci and Connor were murdered in December of 2002) has likely asked themselves at some point, "Why?" As in, why on earth could this seemingly perfect couple be anything other than the image they (meaning Scott) projected? And why on earth did Peterson have to take Laci and Connor from their families forever? That is the most heartbreaking question, one that Laci's mother asked over and over.

The unfortunate fact is, we will never know. Peterson has been convicted and sentenced to death by lethal injection. He currently resides in San Quentin, where his cell overlooks the very bay where Laci and Connor's remains washed up. But he maintains his innocence, that he did not kill them. And since he is a sociopath, even though he has been found guilty (and he is most certainly guilty), he will never tell what was going through his mind in those days and weeks leading up to, and after, the murders.

Another unfortunate in this whole situation is that we get books like this, which are absolutely ridiculous. While the book makes some interesting points, in the end it is far too sensational for such a serious topic. The author is a forensic psychologist, true, but he's never interviewed Peterson, though he did interview family members and some ex-girlfriends. The author has this fixation with calling Peterson 'the golden boy/child' (I can't remember which, now), that does make sense in the tangled web of all his theories, but it was silly and annoying after a while. Ablow also makes claims that, because of three generations of trauma in Peterson's family, it made him unable to be empathetic to others. Trauma includes early death, childhood abandonment, and sexual abuse - but just a note, none of these things happened to Scott. They were simply in his 'bloodline' because these things had all happened to family members in the generations before him, I guess. Whatever. There is no question that his family certainly qualifies as dysfunctional, but that does not necessarily make someone a cold-blooded killer.

I also struggled a lot with the author's interpretation of Laci. The way he described her presents a kind of shallow portrait, which is at complete odds with that full picture we get of Laci as described by her mother in the book she wrote for her daughter. He kept coming back to this idea that Laci wanted everything to always be 'pretty', and that the image of things always being pretty and perfect were important to her. He seems to suggest that had Laci not been trying to gloss over the problems in the marriage, she would not have died. I really hope that this is not what he is actually insinuating, and that I have interpreted his statements incorrectly. Laci and Connor are the victims here and neither could have ever done anything to deserve what happened to them. Scott Peterson is the ONLY guilty person here - though, no lie, his family is pretty fucked up.

Even so, Ablow's theories on how Peterson came to be a psychopath are sketchy at best. He claims it is possible that Peterson's root of sociopathy took hold when he was taken from his mom soon after birth and placed on oxygen, and that abrupt separation played a part in turning Peterson into the murderer he became. Yet the details he claims support this don't really make sense, but they're so silly that I will leave you to discover them for yourself should you choose to read this nonsense.

The point the author does make that I think is incredibly valid has less to do with nonsense and more to do with the idea of child abandonment, which is something that Scot grew up knowing plenty about. He has older siblings (one wrote a book about him, go figure) who were given up for adoption after their fathers ended their relationships with Scott's mother, Jackie Peterson. The oldest two were given up, and Jackie would have given her third child up for adoption had her doctor not persuaded her to do otherwise, despite that father also leaving. But then Jackie met Lee Peterson, they had Scott, and the cycle of abandonment ended...until Scott did the exact same thing to Connor, but in a much more tragic and final way. Combine this trend with the so-called 'family sources' the author interviewed who claim that Peterson's mother is basically a big fat liar about everything, and it is easy to see where he gets it from - perhaps they are BOTH sociopaths.

Mostly, a lot of this book is just stupid. The author refers to Peterson as an 'emotional vampire', you know, on account of him being  sociopath who does not know how to show emotion because he has none. Am I the only one who thinks that phrase is weird? BECAUSE IT IS. He also claims that Peterson really was in love with Amber Frey, and if that relationship had lasted, Peterson would not have ever killed again (something the author finds quite possible, if Peterson were ever released. Luckily, he won't be). But, I highly doubt this. Sociopaths don't know how to love, or be in love. They can imitate what they see on television and in real life, but Peterson lied constantly to Frey. He had no choice, of course, in his mind at least. Personally, I think she was just one of many with whom Peterson had affairs with and she was unlucky enough to get caught up in his web at the time that he was preparing to kill his wife and child.

Final Verdict: Pass on both, check out from the library if you feel you must read them.

Dead Feminists: Historic Heroines in Living Color

Rating: 4 Stars

First I am going to say what every other reviewer has also probably said and that is this book is fucking beautiful.

The broadsides are amazing and so intricately detailed that you can view them multiple times and always find something you missed before. I would love to see them in real-life and not just reprinted for this book. The colors are so vibrant and at times seem to leap right off the page; I can only imagine what seeing an original must be like, and perhaps I will be lucky enough to own one some day.

This book is not in-depth, if that is what you are looking for, so it is best to temper those expectations right away. And so many of the women featured here have (in some cases, multiple) full length biographies already dedicated to them, that too much detailed information is almost moot. Each of the twenty seven women featured are given a brief biography (2-3 pages) and interspersed are additional photos of the creators at work, the women themselves, and/or other relevant information, as well as important quotes from the text. Each broadside has its own full page, and each then each also has its own little biography, giving information about what number it was in the series, which cause it supported (money from the sale of each broadside was donated to that cause/organization), why the fonts, symbols, and colors were chosen, details of the creating, and so on. I like that the biographies focused on what makes these women feminist icons, and did not get bogged down with too much backstory. In other books that would be an issue, but for something like this where the broadside featuring that feminist is the focal point, that other information is simply not necessary. And the reader more than likely already knows a good deal about many of the women featured. You will find some women you are familiar with, especially the suffragettes, but also women from a wide variety of other fields - scientists, royalty, writers, educators, and so on. Each made important contributions to equal rights simply by being themselves and doing what they knew in their hearts to be right - even if it meant obliterating social norms of their time.

I really appreciated the wide variety of cultures and time periods that these women represented. We all know that representation matters, and when people see themselves reflected in what they are fighting for, it gives a much-needed morale boost when things get really tough. We can not just continue to focus on young white women as the only demographic which feminism represents. There are so many powerful stories from women of color, young and older alike. All of these stories matter, and all deserve to not just be told, but to be heard. We are stronger together and we must remember that every time they try to divide us.

Advice: Get a physical copy to browse through. The feel of the book, and the thickness of the paper give it that feel that for a moment you can think you are looking at an original and not a reproduction for the book. Definitely avoid e-readers for this one!

So if the news of the day has you feeling rundown and exhausted because this shit is seriously so tiring and you just want to curl up in a ball, pick this book up and remind yourself that yes indeed, you can change the world for the better.

After all...

Highly recommended.

Book Review: The Au Pair

Rating: 4 Stars

I could not put this book down. It. Was. Brilliant.

This is not to say that there were no predictable parts, but even so, it was a deliciously creepy tale, complete with the perfect setting on the Norfolk coast as Seraphine Mayes works to unravel a family secret that has killed - and could do so again.

Seraphine and Danny are twins who were born at their family's summer estate. Yet the birth turned to tragedy when their mother killed herself just hours later, the nanny disappeared, and things were not what they seemed. It is after the death of their father just a couple decades later that Seraphine discovers a photograph when going through his belongings. The photograph shows only one baby, taken the day the twins were born. So who is the baby pictured, and where is the other one? The family's au pair, Laura, had taken the photo, but left the family's home that very day and never returned. Seraphine sets in motion a chain of events in seeking out the one person still living who might know what happened that day...

Wonderfully creepy, no?

Basically, I loved this book and I am not sure what else to say. Truthfully there is not much I can say without giving away little clues or big clues as to what all goes on. I read it in a matter of hours and thought about it long after I closed the book.

What I CAN say, though, is that I enjoyed the writing and the atmosphere created as Seraphine keeps tugging at this little thread, then becomes entirely overwhelmed by the whole situation when all the secrets are revealed piece by piece.

The story alternates viewpoints, going back and forth between Seraphine's perspective in the present day, and Laura's experiences twenty five years earlier. Slowly but surely the picture comes into focus, though there is enough twists to keep you reading even when you've got things mostly figured out.

There is one glaring problem for me, but I can't really say what it is without giving away a hugely important part of the book. But I also want to be able to justify why I gave the book four stars instead of five, when I have said such wonderful things about it. I guess I will just say that it is certainly a coincidence that two things happened on the very same day, the two events within hours of one another. That is *kind of* a tough thing to overlook, unless you remember it is fiction and a good thriller story, nothing more and nothing less.

All in all, this is an absolutely fantastic debut novel and I will make room on my TBR for any other books that Rous writes, because this was addictive and a great way to spend a few hours. 

Highly, highly recommended.

Book Review A Good Month for Murder: The Inside Story of a Homicide Squad

Rating: 2 Stars

I really ended up not liking this one much at all and I can't decide if that's because of the subjects or the author. This book could have and should have been much better.

I think the author is at least partly to blame; he is the book's creator after all. I was hoping for some kind of dissection of why this particular place in that particular time saw such a run of murders. But nothing here even attempts to explain how and/or why. Sure, we get demographic break-downs of the area, but that's about it. Without any discussion of that type, this simply becomes a voyeuristic look at life with a homicide squad. The writing was far too cavalier in some places, and that did not sit well with me either. Regardless of who the victims are, there has to be some kind of acknowledgment that while they might have been less savory characters in life, they are still human in death.

I do not think it is accurate to call this one true crime. It is much more about the detectives than the victims and suspects. Maybe we could call it 'true crime adjacent'. We meet so many detectives that, even though we are given the lists of who belongs to which squad, it is difficult to keep them all straight. After a while I honestly just started glossing over the detectives' names because they all ran together, nothing really distinguished one from another, unless it was a rookie detective on his first big case.

Definitely one from the library, if you choose to read it at all.

Book Review: Life Will be the Death of Me...and you too

Rating: 5 Stars

I have to say, it kind of confuses me in looking at some of the reviews and ratings on Goodreads. Some people took stars off for the book not being funny enough for them. It makes me wonder if any of them bothered to read the synopsis.

This is easily my favorite book by Handler - and not because I laughed my ass off the entire time reading it. This is not a funny book. This is a book where Chelsea deals with growing up, so to speak, to coming out of her bubble, and seeing that happen is truly impressive. There is humor still, in some of the narrative, but at its heart it is about Chelsea dealing with something she barely mentions, but it is obvious in all her other books that it has impacted her entire life from that moment on: the death of her brother Chet.

 I absolutely love her for so many reasons, but the main one has to do with her honesty. No matter what, I feel like Handler is someone who will always give you the truth. She is honest about her life, her perspective on people and issues impacting our world, her own lack of knowledge on certain topics, and her desire to become more educated on said topics. That is one of the reasons I loved her Netflix talk show so much and was bummed when she ended it.

This book, however, explains why.

Handler discusses her experiences in seeing a therapist, who was once a guest on said show, Dr. Dan Siegel. She works through the trauma and grief over Chet's death, and how it impacted her entire family. The way she writes and speaks about it is so raw and with such emotion and honesty. I was both incredibly impressed with the growth that came out of the sessions, and deeply saddened for her and her family.

While I love Chelsea and admire her, prior to reading this I have to admit that I didn't know if she was someone I would be able to be friends with (you know, that hypothetical game you play where ultimately everyone says they want to best friends with Mindy Kaling because she is hilarious and awesome?) The reason for this is that I also find Chelsea Handler to be kind of intimidating. I mean, I am pretty outspoken and blunt, straight to the point, no fuss. But Handler is on a whole different level and I previously felt like, wow, she would peace-out on me rather quickly. But after reading this book, and getting to see this new side of Handler, I completely take back any previous thoughts about not being BFFs, and have concluded that in fact, yes we would be BFFs after all. It doesn't mean she is any less intimidating, it just means that seeing the vulnerability she puts on display here is truly amazing. It truly humanized her. This is not the same Handler we have seen on her various shows through the years, and being able to look inward, she has come to some really good conclusions about herself, her life, her family, and how to be a better person.

Handler is the first to admit she came completely unhinged after trumplethinskin's election. But that eventually lead her to the point where she began examining her privilege as a white woman in the US and what she has that so many others don't. Handler deals with those topics just as well - politics, her burgeoning activism in the aftermath of the election that stunned all normal, logical, forward-thinking people, and more. Her humor is there, but a bit more restrained, because these are not funny topics. This is the most serious and introspective of all of her work and as I said previously, by far my most favorite.

Perhaps one of my favorite parts comes in one of her therapy sessions, when dealing with empathy and Handler deals with this and how to have empathy for others. It was definitely shocking for her, and something that wasn't easy, but was very eye-opening and relatable. That in itself seems to me to be one of the major turning points for her on this self-discovery trek she has embarked on. 

While most of us will never live the "privileged" life that Chelsea Handler does, readers will still be engaged in the story and connect with it. After all, everyone has lost someone they love, everyone has dealt with the same issues Handler is dealing with in the book, and we can all learn a little from one another.

Excellent read, highly recommended.

Heeeeeeeere's Scotty!

I don't even know where to begin. Yesterday was amazing.

I mentioned in a previous post that The Durham Museum is opening a new exhibit today. The centerpiece of the exhibit is Scotty, who is  comparable to Sue, the most complete specimen ever found. About 90% of Sue was recovered, compared to 65% in Scotty's case. The two dinosaurs are very close in terms of size and weight, but scientists speculate that Scotty could have been bigger than Sue. Unfortunately, due to missing parts, it is hard to know for sure. Either way, I have been incredibly lucky in that I have seen Sue TWICE (once at the Field Museum in Chicago and once here, unsurprisingly, at the Durham when Eleanor was a month old), and now Scotty. Both are absolutely amazing. Though, if it helps to imagine that Scotty might be a bit bigger, I will say this: the museum could not fit Scotty into the normal exhibit area where Sue was staged and they actually had to open up a bigger area that is not typically accessible to patrons. Regardless, both are amazing and must-sees if you are any kind of dinosaur enthusiast.

The Durham offered a two-day Members-Only viewing yesterday and Thursday. Eleanor and I ended up going not once, but twice! First we went with our friend Jessica, then later with another friend Charissa, and her kiddos. It was just as awesome the second time around. I didn't want to leave and neither did Eleanor. Or Jess, or Charissa, or any of us, actually. It really was such a cool experience.

Here we go!

The exhibit was great and had tons of interactive displays for kids and adults alike. There were also three large screens showing various dinosaurs running around the museum, and even inside it. Eleanor loved running back and forth with them.

Varying sizes of t. Rex skulls

Eleanor checking out some of the artifacts.

To the right, mostly out of the picture, is a leg bone cast belonging to a Triceratops. When I read the placard about the damage done to the bone by a t. Rex, Eleanor hugged the bone tightly and told Cera she loved her (Cera, as in the bratty dino from The Land Before Time. Not coincidentally, after I saw that movie for the first time, I would only spell my name Cera instead of Sarah. My first grade teacher was terribly patient with me, bless her soul.)

Scotty and me. Seeing these fossils on display really made me regret not pursuing paleontology in college.

The exhibit will be here until September, so if it is coming to a museum near you, I highly recommend going! FYI for my UK friends, it will be in Edinburgh! HERE is the website for the exhibit if you want to check out where it is going next.

The exhibit is simply breathtaking. Especially when you come into the display area and see Scotty for the first time. Scotty is truly beautiful.

I have only one complaint, and that is that the gift shop only had dinosaur books geared toward children. There are so many great titles that could also be available for adults!

Did you love dinosaurs as a kid? Were you one who grew out of it, or have you remained a child in an adult body like me when it comes to these absolutely amazing creatures?

Happy Reading!

Sarah