Sunday, January 3, 2021

FUCK THE PATRIARCHY | The Seven Necessary Sins for Women and Girls


I do not recall exactly how I first learned of Mona Eltahawy. Somehow this video came across my Twitter feed and I was completely enthralled by what she was saying, by the power in her voice, her absolute certainty in what she was saying, all the words I have ever wanted to hear.


As a result of the discussion, ABC Australia removed this Q & A session from its website altogether but here is the banned episode in its entirety.

There is truly no way for me to "review" this book in the traditional sense. I originally checked it out from the library but it was clear within the first chapter that I would need my own copy, as my fingers were just itching to highlight and underline and scribbles notes to myself in the margins.

Even after I finished the book within a couple hours, I could not stop thinking about. I just sat there, clutching the book to my chest, knowing that finally FINALLY, here was someone telling me that my rage is righteous and justified. It's not in my head, I am not too much. I am here, I count, I am 100% unapologetically me.

"We must make patriarchy fear us. We must reject politeness; there is nothing polite about patriarchy. We must reject civility; there is nothing civil about racism or misogyny or transphobia. Warnings precede profanity, to protect the sensibility of the reader; where are the warnings that precede patriarchy to protect the lives of women and girls? Curse words are bleeped out of television and radio broadcasts; how to we bleep out patriarchy?" (pg 76)

Fuck anyone who doesn't like it. Fuck anyone who wants me to be nice, to be civil. FUCK YOU, PATRIARCHY.

I feel this book so deeply in my soul. The words have seeped into my skin, my bones, my very being. I have always considered myself a feminist, but after reading this brilliant work, I feel different. I feel more. I am radicalized. I can face patriarchy head-on and smash it into tiny fucking pieces, pieces so small that it can never even hope to put itself back together again.

Eltahawy is strong and brave and powerful. She has shown me I can be those things, too. I can raise Eleanor this way, to raise her fist, shout "FUCK THE PATRIARCHY" and to understand the weight of the words, to understand that she too is declaring war on a society not built for her. That she can bring that society down, and create a new one where all women are free.

I started reading various paragraphs out loud to Eleanor the night I bought my copy and found myself at a loss when she first asked what patriarchy meant. How do you explain systemic oppression of women and girls (don't forget to factor in that things get drastically worse when you also consider race and socioeconomic status of those women and girls) to a seven year old? Even a seven year old as intelligent and thoughtful and curious as mine?

Mona to the rescue! I tweeted this very predicament to her and she responded shortly with a video she had previously recorded doing just that, explaining what patriarchy means in as kid-friendly terms as you can get. Eleanor and I both appreciated this very much.

I don't know that I can ever truly convey what this book means to me. No words do it justice.

But I know what it means to patriarchy: your days are numbered.

18 comments:

  1. Nice that Mona responded so quickly to your question regarding kid friendly explanations! That's pretty cool.

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    1. She is absolutely amazing. I think I am obsessed, but in a good way. She posts short snippets of videos on Twitter and I love it. There's always something new to think about.

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  2. I wish you'd been my mum taking this stance! I grew up with completely the opposite lessons and still find it difficult to shrug off automatically reinforcing that learned behaviour.
    I hadn't heard about Mona's new book, but this sounds such an exciting read. I love your enthusiasm - it's contagious (in a good way!)

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    1. Thank you so much! I want as many people to know about this book as possible, I can not stop talking about it and her ideas and ways to bring about true freedom for all women. I hope you get a chance to read it. I too have some of those automatic responses and it was not until I read this book and began watching her videos on Twitter that I realized just how ingrained this all is within us.

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  3. Well this is indeed important and I wish some patriarchal men would read it! Ha, dream on. Even my husband gets a little twitchy when I get angry about certain men. I recall feeling this way when I first read The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir. If you have not read that, you should! She channels her anger in philosophical ways but it is no less powerful. Now I will go check out Mona.

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    1. Okay so somehow my comment did not actually reply to you. It posted as a new comment. Weird.

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    2. Now I have to add a second comment, because odd numbers bother me and if I did not, there would be an odd number of comments on this post.

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  4. I hope you get the chance to read this soon. I am trying to let as many people know about this book as possible - I already have friends who are in the midst of it and I am loving their reactions and thoughts. I just placed a hold at the library for The Second Sex and am looking forward to reading it when it is available!

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    1. I'm likely to be reading 'Second Sex' later in the year....

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    2. Do you already have a copy?? we can 'buddy read' it when my hold comes in at the library! Non-fiction buddy reads can be a thing, right?? lol

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    3. I picked up a copy (really cheap) AGES ago....... Not sure exactly when I'm going to read it though. Plus you'll BLAST through it in a day or two and it'll take me at LEAST a week (or two)..... [lol]

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    4. Lol, fair enough. We can at least still compare notes :)

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  5. Okay so I'm going to go watch those videso now. Awesome too that she had ways of explaining to a young prson some of these ideas. I'm looking forward to this because honestly? I'm sick of so much of the bullshit in our society right now...

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    1. Yes!! I am pretty much sending everyone I know her way. She's @MonaEltahawy. She gives no fucks and is straight up about this is what we need to do to tear this shit down. And I love that she takes the time to respond to her followers, so much more than just a 'heart'. Eleanor of Aquitaine and Boudicca now have some great company on my 'people I most admire' list. Read the book too, it's SO GOOD!

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  6. "We must make patriarchy fear us. We must reject politeness; there is nothing polite about patriarchy. We must reject civility; there is nothing civil about racism or misogyny or transphobia." Truer words have never been spoken or written.

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    1. There's so much more that I wanted to share, I had so many quotes originally, but I decided in the end to go with that because it really encompassed everything. She's brilliant, I hope you get a chance to read the book!

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    1. YES!!! Please do, and then we can talk about it! I am planning to do something as a follow-up, maybe something from each chapter on the "sins" she calls necessary.

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