Book Review: The Complete Book of Dragons: A Guide to Dragon Species

Rating: No Rating

So Eleanor and I love Love LOVE How to Train Your Dragon. Her fifth birthday last summer was dragon-themed, complete with a custom-made cake from the best bakery in the country, and do you know how hard it was to find Dragon decorations and party favors, seeing as how the third movie did not even come out until THIS YEAR?! It was rough. And pricey. (And when we did see the third movie, I ain't one bit ashamed to say I CRIED at the end. Straight up cried.)

Anyway.

At least...we love the movies and shows. We saw those first, and so reading the books has been a bit strange because they are so vastly different. We are slowly working our way through book one, and Eleanor picked this one out at some point in one of the binges where I randomly let her choose $25 worth of books from our Amazon shopping cart.

The artwork is fine and the material is fine, it is just so different. I suppose we would feel the opposite if we had read the books first, but we didn't, so here we are. Eleanor sometimes gets confused when something from the book is different than what we have seen in the movie, so she is unsure which is "right". I tell her that the books came first, but that she can prefer whichever she likes, and she seems pretty content with the movie and show versions. As she gets older I do not doubt, however, that we will continue reading our way through the series. After all, they've already announced that Dragons 3 would be the final installment (don't even get me started, I might cry again), so at least with the books we can continue with characters we know and love, albeit a tad differently than we are used to.

Truthfully, this is a solid ⭐⭐⭐⭐ and any fan of the book series will enjoy it. 

Messy Grace: How a Pastor with Gay Parents Learned to Love Others Without Sacrificing Conviction

Rating: I don't know

I am not quite sure what I was expecting out of this one. I do know it is the first book I have ever seen in a Christian bookstore that has a pride flag on it, and that alone piqued my interest. The subtitle still made me wary, and the title downright annoyed me. The former because I thought it might end up being yet another Christian telling gay people how "wrong" they are, and the latter because grace is not messy. Grace is perfect each and every time, WE are the messy part.

The author is a pastor now, though growing up he was not a Christian and instead was on the other side of the fence, watching how so-called Christian treated his family. Kaltenbach's biological parents, who divorced when he was two, are both gay. His mother began a relationship with a woman named Vera that lasted until Vera's death many years later. His father did not come out until after Kaltenbach finished college. In high school he joined a Bible study group in order to disprove the Bible, he says, only to find himself drawn to Christ, eventually becoming a Christian.

I had to take a long pause between finishing the book (which I did in a couple hours) and writing the review. This subject is deeply personal to me because for one, I believe that love is love and God does not make mistakes. Because God does not make mistakes, He intentionally created both heterosexuals and homosexuals. So, my issue is first and foremost a from the human perspective of, "Don't be a shitty person to someone who is different from you." My second reason is because there have been several fabulous men throughout my life who have been my very best friends. Some of us have drifted apart as we grew up and moved on from college, some of us are still going strong, and some of us have come to know one another later in life. Any way you slice it, God created these men in my life, and the countless others who identify as LGBTQIA. I spent a significant amount of time texting my pastor as I was reading, bombarding him with all kinds of questions. As an aside, he and I discussed church outreach and the fact that our church needs to be better at this aspect. I actually gave him the book the next day at church, and I am really excited to be part of the future ministry involving our LGBTQIA brothers and sisters. I know my position is at odds with the official church position on gay marriage, etc, but I know this kind of ministry is also part of my purpose and God will use me in some way. I am very much looking forward to that opportunity. There is a list of questions near the end of the book that deal with a variety of scenarios and how your church might respond to any of them. Questions such as, "If a transgender woman wants to join the women's Bible study, would that be allowed?" and vice versa if the situation involved a transgender male. Of course to all of these questions I am personally saying, of course! But I know that may not be the reaction of others, and time and again I was reminded that I am not part of the author's target audience. Or, I should say that I am but in an opposite way of his main audience; I have the part where he calls all Christians to love ALL neighbors, not just some. I do not, however, necessarily agree with the theological aspects and in that way, I would be what he considers someone for his target audience because in his eyes I am not "loving with truth". 

Naturally given my stance on this issue, I did have an issue with some of the statements the author made. The first was this one:

"We can accept others as friends and family without approving of their life choices" (47%).

That's great, except being gay is no more a choice than being straight is. I never sat around thinking about it, and then chose being straight. That is just how I have always been. I am attracted to males, as a female, and that is how God made me. The same holds true for so many of my gay friends. I can not even count the number of times we've had deep conversations about a myriad of issues involving gay rights, and so many express to me that they knew very early on that they were attracted to other boys. we're talking elementary school here - and this should not be surprising, seeing as how we have all had those playground crushes, chasing the object of our affection around. The other telling piece for me is that in these same conversations, many have also expressed the sentiment that their lives would be easier if they were straight (but keep in mind, all of these conversations took place prior to the monumental Supreme Court ruling that finally said same-sex marriage was legal in all 50 States). Please genuinely think about that - so many individuals I loved and cared about, wishing they could change this huge part of who they were.

I also took issue with this one:

"Nevertheless, the account of this event back in Genesis does say that the men of Sodom were aggressively seeking to have sex with Lot's visitors (angels who had taken the appearance of human males)" (38%).

What an interesting way to describe...RAPE. Can we please stop equating sex and rape? Not the same thing.

Perhaps my biggest issue of all is the choices that the author presents as viable alternatives to people of the LGBTQIA community. In order to stay true and faithful to God, he says that there are one of two choices:

1. Be celibate

2. Marry someone of the opposite sex

"Since God designed sexual intimacy for a man and a woman, I believe celibacy is the right choice for people with same-sex attraction. In fact, it's not only the right choice, but it's a good choice for them, one they can embrace with gratitude" (60%).

I just can't believe that this is the best option, and one they should be grateful for. I struggle to reconcile the fact that God did create us as sexual beings, and He created ALL of us, yet one of those groups He created is to either remain celibate or enter into a heterosexual marriage. Why would God create such a scenario? 

One thing I truly did appreciate about this book is the author's attempt to tear down this barrier and do away with the mentality of an "us vs them" kind of situation. You have "Christians" like those fools from Westboro who spew venom about God hating gay people, and then everyone wonders why an LGBTQIA person might be wary of church in general. Plus you have all the additional crap spewed  but those who are not remotely connected to Westboro also being really awful, so basically no one should really wonder why he also uses his own situation as an example, stating how when he decided to become a Christian, and told his parents, they both reacted very negatively. In fact, his "coming out" Christian to them, reads very much like an LGBTQIA person coming out to their family and receiving a negative response. I feel that due to the author's own experience of being rejected in a way, that he understands how those on the other side feel and that is why he repeatedly says Christians must be gracious and compassionate.

Still, this book is tough for me in many ways, but it all ultimately comes back to the two choices presented as the only viable options: celibacy or heterosexual marriage. Even while the author states time and again that Christians must look at how they treat others who are different, and must be compassionate, loving, and kind, it doesn't seem real. Or, maybe real is not the right word, and I do not for a moment doubt the author's sincerity, but I am not even quite sure what word I am looking for. I also appreciate the author's honesty is stating that the reader may disagree with some parts of the book while whole-heartedly agreeing with others, and that is okay because he is not a theologian and does not ever claim to be. He too is still learning and figuring things out for himself. But time and again he calls for Christians to be gracious. Not in a patronizing kind of way, but a true and gracious way of loving others as Jesus commanded and loved us.

One important point to make is that this text does not discuss why people are gay. He does not even attempt to argue for or against anything related to that aspect. He also does not even really go into detail about how the Bible discusses homosexuality. There is a chapter that does relate the Bible's teachings, but that is not the focus or the purpose of the text. His aim is to get Christians to understand why they must do as Christ said and really truly be that loving and kind person. It is really not that hard and personally I have always found the "Don't be a douche" approach to be fantastic - and it really works for any situation. Then again, my views on homosexuality differ greatly from official position of many denominations at this point, so I can not really be of much help in that area.

I have now spent the last three nights trying to write this review and I am pretty sure it is one of the worst reviews I have ever written. I have been half-tempted to delete it at least six times now. I think because this topic is so deeply personal to me it really is hard for me to be objective. But I know this about myself, so perhaps I will just end here with whatever haphazard arguments I may have made and leave you to make up your own mind. While I feel the book made some good points - especially in the whole 'be kind' department (which should be common sense for Christians, but isn't, because we are humans, and pretty awful), it still felt like the undercurrent was a little darker. There is no real answer for what the future will hold for someone who both commits to being a follower of Jesus, yet identifies with the LGBTQIA community. The whole celibacy/hetero marriage thing seems overly simple and also more than a bit hypocritical. After all, there are plenty of things we were not supposed to do, according to the Bible, and a lot of those things are set aside. However, the bottom line is what I have been stating time and again as it relates to the author's point of view - there is no reason to treat someone poorly because they are different from you. This is not confined to only interactions with LGBTQIA, so keep that in mind also.

Paper Princess (The Royals #1)

Edit 3-16-17:

Rating: 1 Star. I know I initially said no rating because it is not my normal genre, but forget that, this book was awful.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Rating: No Rating (mostly because I do not think it is fair, when this is not a book I would typically read)

I know, I know. Fiction. And not even HISTORICAL FICTION. Just plain old trashy fiction disguised as YA when it is really not.

The whole time I was reading it I could not stop thinking how unbelievable it was. Not in a good way unbelievable, but in the literal, this is not actually believable. The whole thing where no one knows her mom has died because they moved around so much? Not going to happen, no matter how many times you've moved. I could not stand the female lead, or any of the Royals, except maybe Easton. He was a douche in the beginning too, but he became like this lovable dumb puppy once they started getting along.

Don't even get me started on Reed. I don't understand being attracted to someone who completely treats you so terribly. I mean, I probably did understand in my early twenties, but not any more.

The twins were just weird, and not even involved that much in the story.

Gideon just came in and out and was not much of a presence either, until the end when he told Ella to stay away from Reed. Big shocker about what happened when Ella saw Reed next *sarcasm*.

You might wonder why I even bothered with this one, as it was not in my typical genres. This is not meant in any way to offend anyone who loved the book. If you loved it, that's awesome and I am glad you found a book that worked for you. But I, on the other hand was painfully reminded of why I tend to stick to non-fiction. First and foremost, a lot of people did love it and when a fellow book blogger (Hey Candace!) had Tweeted about the book only being 99 cents, I jumped at it because, why not? And really, truly, I am so far behind on my Goodreads Challenge that quick fiction helps me get caught up. That's why I devoured Gossip Girl and Pretty Little Liars in a week over the summer, to help me catch up. Only this time, I am not 6 books behind, I am 32 books behind and in dire need of MORE fiction to help me not fail. I am far too competitive, even with myself, to fail my Goodreads Challenge this year.

One of my biggest issues in general is the fact that this is not a YA book and I feel like it is marketed that way because the characters are in high school. I feel like YA (can we just call this 'Teen'? Because seriously, that's really the range) is basically meant for 13-18 year olds. But this was far more adult than young. I definitely would not let my daughter read it at 15 or 16 for sure. There were some seriously rapey-like scenes and I was not down with that. No one is actually raped in the book, but there is a close call, and there are a few times when it is a very rapey-vibe, especially early on. 

The book ends on a cliffhanger that would imply epic proportions if it had not been predictable. I completely expected Reed to do what he did, just wasn't totally expecting it to be his dad's ex, the name of whom I can't recall at this moment. I am sure there are answers in book 2 and book 3, but I can' actually say I am inclined to find out. Though I do hope nothing bad happens to Easton with his little gambling problem. Seriously, big dumb adorable puppy ((much like how I refer to Gronk as such - he, (Rob Gronkowski), is a tight end for the Patriots, FYI for those unfamiliar)). I think he was the only character I actually liked, and it took a ways into the story for me to feel that way. If I do grab the other two, you can bet it will be for free or no more than 99 cents, and it will be to help me catch up on my 2016 Challenge.

Kitty Genovese: The Murder, the Bystanders, the Crime that Changed America

Rating: None

Review:

At first I was not going to review this book. I just could not bring myself to do so. In fact, here is all I said about it on Goodreads and I was going to just leave it at that:

"It is hard to rate and review a book like this so I'm not even going to try; I hate reading true crime, but something about this story is so heartbreakingly compelling to me. I guess there is some comfort in the fact that "38 witnesses" isn't really true, but aside from the neighbor yelling to leave her alone, no one went out to help her until it was too late. It's also comforting, as much as it possibly could be, that at least she really did not die alone. This whole case is just so heartbreaking, even 50 years later. And what makes it so heartbreaking, is the fact that it is not uncommon."

But after thinking about it for a few days, I realized Kitty deserves better than that. She deserves to have her story told, her voice heard, so that people can really understand what happened that terrible night.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the story, or vaguely aware of what '38 witnesses' means, Kitty Genovese was a young woman living with her girlfriend in Kew Gardens in Queens in 1964 when she was brutally attacked, stabbed several times and raped over the course of about a half an hour just steps from her apartment. Due to misinformation at the time, it was somehow reported that 38 neighbors saw or heard the attack for half an hour and did nothing. No one called the police, no one went out to help, nothing. Some of this is true. Much of it is not. There were witnesses, but on the darkened street, it was hard to tell what was going on. When Kitty was first attacked by her murderer, someone shouted from an apartment for him to leave 'that girl' alone. This scared him off and Kitty managed to inch herself toward safety. Unfortunately she only made it around the corner to the entry way of her neighbor and so-called friend's apartment when her attacker returned. This 'friend', Karl Ross, heard the commotion both times, and when it was literally happening right in front of his apartment, he OPENED THE DOOR, SAW WHAT WAS GOING ON, and CLOSED IT AGAIN. There is all this lead-up, how he was basically a big scaredy-cat, afraid of everything and a guy who could barely bring himself to leave his apartment most of the time. He was also gay and terribly paranoid people would find out, and even in the 60s, New York was of course no friend to anyone who was gay. I get the paranoia, but he watched his friend being attacked and did nothing to intervene. He did call a friend, who told him to stay out of it, but then he eventually did call the police after sneaking out his apartment by way of his window and going across the roof. At this point others in the building were alerted by phone to what was happening and another of Kitty's friends, Sophie Farrar, went to her aid. Sophie is the only person in this whole sad tale deserving of any respect. As soon as she knew what was going on, she was out the door, even steps ahead of her husband who followed. Despite not knowing what was really going on, that she herself could be walking into a dangerous situation, Sophie did not care. She found Kitty in the stairway, and held the dying young woman in her arms, reassuring her that help was on the way.

In the end it would be too late, and Kitty Genovese would succumb to her injuries. There are so many what-ifs about that night. Had one single person done something when the attack first occurred, Kitty might very well have survived. But many witnesses thought perhaps, at the late hour, what they were witnessing was a lover's spat or people leaving the nearby bar when Kitty was first approached and attacked by her killer. No one actually witnessed the second attack except Karl Ross, as it literally happened on his doorstep. One witness, Joseph Fink, seems to be the only person who actually knew Kitty had been stabbed in the first attack. He was an assistant superintendent of the building across the street and witnessed Kitty being stabbed in the back. He claims he considered going to get his baseball bat, but in the end simply went to sleep. He could have saved Kitty right there in that moment, and his only response for why he did not do anything when asked by police was a shrug of his shoulders. Ross and Fink both had the immediate opportunity to aid Kitty, yet chose to do nothing and it was this idea of "not wanting to get involved" that made these supposed 38 witnesses the poster children for the idea of apathy in New York at the time. Luckily, in some way as much as we can call it that, we can at least know that when others found out what was happening, they chose to act. We know in fact that Kitty did not really die alone.

The author does a really wonderful job bringing the backdrop of the story, New York City and Queens, to life. It seems like such a safe place, even though we know that is not really true, even in the 60s. But we get this idyllic kind of existence for Kitty and her (secret) girlfriend Mary Ann as they lived and worked and played in the city. Some complained about the background information both in relation to Kitty's life and that of her murderer's, but I found it interesting. And it certainly helped to provide a stark contrast of the city Kitty lived in, and the one she was killed in - despite the fact that they were actually the same place.

I did have to skim some of the book, notably the parts directly about the murder itself. As mentioned above, I do not enjoy true crime. Honestly, I can hardly even handle the news anymore, with all the terrible things happening all over the world. I think becoming a parent really made me not be able to stomach these awful things, and I am content to live in a little bit of ignorance. You might have also noticed that I also never mention the killer by name and the reason for that is, everything about him makes my skin crawl. Even just reading his name, especially as it got more into the crimes he was committing both before murdering Kitty, and in the events after his brief escape from prison, made my stomach turn. Aside from his horrific crimes (being a serial rapist before and after Kitty's murder), I can't even look at his picture on the cover of the book without shuddering in total revulsion. I am not ashamed to admit I am glad this scum is dead, having just died in prison in the last month or so. I am also glad he was never paroled and died a caged animal as he should have, for all the terrible things he did.

If you are really into the true crime genre, I highly recommend this one. It is fast-paced and sheds new light on an enduring myth that has persisted for years about the so-called by-stander effect, thinking that if there were something horrible happening then surely SOMEONE ELSE MUST HAVE called the police by now. It also makes Kitty Genovese a real person again, brings her back to life in a way, so that her true story can be told. 

Danubia: A Personal History of Habsburg Europe

Rating: None given, did not finish book.

Review:

When I first started reading the book, the author's anecdotes annoyed me. I wanted more of a straight history. Again, this is what I get for forgetting to read the sub-title. As I went on, I enjoyed his stories more. However, I still can not finish this book. I feel I can not rate it, however, due to it being my own personal issue with not finishing it and nothing the author did wrong. He is passionate about his stories and those of the Hapsburgs, but much like I find with elsewhere in Europe, my interest wains as we reach beyond the 1500s. So, have it at if this is your style, as he mixes his own stories and history fairly evenly. Simply was not for me.