Book Review | The Family Next Door: The Heartbreaking Imprisonment of the Thirteen Turpin Siblings and Their Extraordinary Rescue

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐

This story is horrific. I remember being in such shock when the story broke. I don't know why I am still surprised at the level of torture one human can visit on another, but a set of parents abusing their thirteen children in such awful ways?

A little over two years ago one of those thirteen children, a seventeen year old who had never been out of the house in her entire life (except for when the family was relocating from one place to another) call 911 and reported that she and her siblings were being abused, had been chained to their beds, only allowed to shower once a year, were not allowed to eat or use the bathroom without permission, and so on and so on. Only the two-year-old was spared any kind of abuse or punishment. When the police arrived on the scene, what they found was so horrific, so disgusting, it was difficult to even breathe. Literally. Because the smell alone was so overpowering. The children, ranging in ages from 29 on down to two, were rescued and their parents have since been sentences to 25 years-to-life after both pleaded guilty to the charges. I hope these scumbags are never free again.

The book itself was a very quick read, and that's not really a good thing in this case. There is no new information about the case itself, though we are given a lot of information about prior generations of the family on each side, and there is a lot of abuse there as well. I already knew pretty much everything that was in this book, because there did not seem to be any actual 'investigating' of the story. You can piecemeal together articles online and find all the same stuff. Capitalizing off a hot story is not going to get one very far if the information contained in the book is available elsewhere for free. Which it all is.

I followed some of the case during the sentencing phase and two of the Turpin children spoke at the hearing. I feel like there is hope for all of them, but it will be a tough road. And this book honestly could have waited, so it could fully include that aspect of the story. We don't need to know their names, where they live now, where they go to school, or anything of that nature, but there is so much more to this story. These siblings should not be defined by what their parents did to them, but by who they become due to their own effort. It would be interesting to know if they're all together, or how the younger ones are doing if they are split up or not. All of the Turpin children will be traumatized for the rest of their lives to one degree or another, and the older siblings will probably be worse off than the younger ones. Physically they will heal (the oldest child, at age 29, weighed 82 pounds when she was rescued) but emotionally and mentally, there would have to be years and years and years of intensive therapy to not only heal but to break the cycle of abuse. There's no real knowledge of the aftermath and part of the reason for that and this being a quick read is because the aftermath is still happening, and will be happening for quite some time. This book could have been written a few years from now and better represent the story as a whole, because the story didn't end with their escape - that is their new beginning.

A crime of this magnitude needs so much more than what is offered here. It needs depth and insight. You can not get those things without interviews of those involved. That may take years before any of the siblings are ready to open up about what they lived through - if they ever are able to talk about it at all. I want to know why. I want to know what drove these parents to abuse their children so horribly that the adults were completely unrecognizable as such when they were first rescued. I want to know how these sorry excuses for parents could chain their children to their beds, beat them for whatever made-up infraction they thought of in the moment, deny medical care, deny dental care, deny a fucking bath or shower to their children. And on top of that, I want to know how and why those same fucked up parents can turn around, completely clean their children up, throw them in matching outfits, and take them to Disney, or to Vegas for vow renewals, or whatever other crazy shit they did to keep up the appearances of a normal, loving family. I would also like to know why no teacher reported anything suspicious when the oldest child was showing up to school obviously not clean, clothes that were dirty/didn't fit, etc. This poor sweet girl coming to school every day obviously needing help, and no one did anything? I have called child protective services for these exact reasons, when students have come to school consistently in dirty clothes, clearly not having had a bath in a while. I can't imagine failing a child by not doing so. And what about those in charge of overseeing families that home-school their children? It would appear as though California basically says, "Good luck, do what you want!" when a parent registers their "school". The dude literally listed himself as the principal of their "school" for years, and it appears no one ever checked up on him. Ever. This is not just a matter of these kids one time 'slipping through the cracks'. They were failed by every adult in their lives - including other family members - over and over again. The parents did a pretty great job for the most part in keeping other family members away, but shouldn't that have been a red-flag in and of itself? Or in those brief times when they did get to see the kids, was no one alarmed by the fact that they were no where near normal height/weight? Seriously. I get why the neighbors might not have realized anything was wrong, they talked of only seeing a couple kids at a time, never more than two it seems. The Turpins made the kids sleep during the day, though neighbors spoke of thinking they saw or heard kids out at night. Was that not another clue that something was not right? How difficult is it to make an anonymous tip to CPS?

IT'S NOT.

I watched some videos from the trial and read articles as well, and I don't think we will ever get an answer to those 'why' questions, not from anyone but definitely not from David and Louise Turpin. Over and over all I read was how they loved their children, they hoped they had not hurt them, they were sorry if they did, and they hoped to see their children again some day. That is some grade-A detachment from reality, especially for two people who pleaded guilty to the charges to begin with. As I mentioned above, we did get background information on both sides of each family, and there was sexual abuse that occurred on the Louise's side. I still do not understand for the life of me though how that translates into what it became for her children. One of the daughter's also stated during sentencing that she saw how her father changed her mother and I have to wonder, how? The abuse began so early on, was it all only made worse because of their father? What does she mean by this?

Overall, I can't say that I recommend this book unless you are completely unfamiliar with the case and want all the information in one place instead of searching online for the myriad of articles, transcripts, videos, etc. In that case, check it out from the library. The Turpin children deserve better than this, because it does not do their story justice. And in time, if they choose to share that story, it should be their own decisions entirely.

Prime First Reads | The Silence

Rating: ⭐⭐

I chose this book as my Amazon Prime First Reads for Feb.

Usually I love an unreliable narrator, but this one was not done very well. It was really hard to get into the story - Stella is a former child star who has grown up, is out of the spotlight, and life is truthfully just kind of shitty. Her parents are dead, and her one-night-stand-turned-boyfriend is slowly but surely isolating Stella from her friends while simultaneously gas-lighting the shit out of her.

There were tons of clues about who Marco was and it was pretty clear he was the bad guy. The first sign was the insane amount of pills he was giving Stella, so she could 'sleep'. I skimmed a lot in the beginning because none of the characters were particularly interesting or likable and I wanted to get to the meat of the story and see how it would play out. Once Stella is isolated, alone in the cottage with no friends, little contact with the family she has left, and basically only Marco to talk to when he visits from London, things get interesting. Even so, I kept thinking there was going to be some plot twist, something I did not see, because otherwise everything was so painfully obvious there was almost no point. Sadly, there was no twist and everything went down generally how I imagined it would - I really liked the paranormal element and it was greatly appreciated, but like every other aspect of the novel, nothing quite gelled together in the end.

This book had so much potential and the plot was certainly intriguing, but the execution did not cut it. Stella was such an idiot sometimes, always believing everything Marco was telling her and ignoring what her friends were saying. She was so miserable before she met him, and even though he was acting like her 'savior', she was still super miserable anyway. That's a pretty good indicator that the relationship is not a healthy one, and yet...

If you still feel the need to read this one, I recommend checking it out from the library or snagging it as a First Reads.

NetGalley ARC | Something Bad Happened

I received a free digital ARC from the publisher via NetGalley for an honest review.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

From Goodreads:

When we learn about something bad - even when we hear only bits and pieces of it - our brains get busy trying to make sense of what we've heard. Seeing distressing events on the news, or hearing about them later, can feel scary and overwhelming. Talking about what happened, and how we feel about it, is hugely important.

Something Bad Happened guides children ages 6-12 and the adults who care about them through tough conversations about news of large-scale events, addressing questions such as: "Where did it happen?" "Why did it happen?" and "Will it happen again?" Feelings like sadness, fear and confusion are  normalized, and coping tools provided.

For children and parents to read together, or by a child with a parent nearby, this helpful resource by a child psychologist best-selling author provides comfort, support and action plans for children learning about the big bad things that happen in our world.

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Easily one of the best books I have found so far to help young children understand the sometimes-scary world we live in. It does a phenomenal job showing that, even though these events are frightening, there are always people to help you figure out what is going on, and to process it. The book is a fantastic guide for parents on how to protect and inform their children, at the same time. It is also purposely general in order to encompass pretty much any 'bad thing' that you can imagine having to try to explain to your child.

This book would be useful for so many - parents, teachers, counselors, social workers, pediatricians, pastors/youth/children's ministers, basically anyone who cares for children in any capacity. To be clear, it is NOT for children/families who have been directly involved in a traumatic event. The author makes a point to directly state this. It is for those trying to process events that did not impact them directly, but have impacted their world in general, if only by the way adults are acting/behaving/speaking/not speaking, etc. We need to be able to guide our children through what seems to be increasingly turbulent times and this guide is a great starting point to do just that.

I thought specifically of Sept 11 when I first saw this book on NetGalley - not only for my students, but first for Eleanor. She is six and a half, and loves the Who Is/Who Was/What Is/etc series - you know, the books where the subject on the cover has a GIANT head and itty bitty body. The book about the Twin Towers is one that we own and we did start it months ago, but at one point Eleanor said she wanted to take a break from it because it made her sad. We will revisit it sometime in the future whenever she is ready, and with this book I will be even better prepared to help her understand the life-changing/world-changing event that occurred long before she was born, whose impact is still seen and felt today.

Additionally, every year on Sept 11, I teach my students about it. I have taught 3rd-6th grade and I appreciate the author's push for discussion and dialogue. I use material from kid-friendly, age-appropriate websites (such as readworks.org and BrainPop) to present the material to them, and give them the opportunity to ask as many questions as they need or want in order to make sense. It truly is so hard even for 6th graders to understand that day, the destruction on such a massive scale. After reading this, I have ideas on how to incorporate its suggestions into the lesson for my future students.

The introduction really helps adults understand how to use the book, and the author gives seven tips to help guide the conversations. The following chapters then focus on various points in the process - from finding out the bad thing that happened, calming oneself, learning information, identifying those who can help, dealing with a variety of emotions, caring for oneself, and finally - perhaps one of the most important - healing the world. Most of the chapters are 6-7 pages. The longest chapter is also one that it critically important - that of explaining the likelihood of a bad thing happening to someone. This is so crucial because it can help calm a child's worst fears, help them to understand that even though this bad thing happened, it does not mean it will happen to them. I like the examples that the author used, along with the illustrations, of using marbles in a jar to demonstrate possible vs likely.

It is sometimes so hard to know what or how much to say to younger children when something bad does happen. They will likely hear about it at some point, maybe from kids at school with older siblings, or overhearing a conversation between parents, etc. We have only so much ability to control what our children hear and when they hear it, and this book goes a long way in helping guide that process of understanding when a tragic event has entered their radar.

Personally, I do not ever share the "something bad" events with Eleanor. She is six. There is no reason to bring trauma and despair into her world, when there will be enough for her to see for herself when she is much older. I hate that books like this even need to exist, but there will come a day when she will see a news report, or hear a conversation, and I want her to come to me, to ask me questions. This book will be just the tool needed to start the healing process and show her that bad things happen, but we can understand the complex issues, work through them, and help try to make our world a better place.

Highly recommended.

Book Review | My Daddy is a Hero: How Chris Watts Went From Family Man to Family Killer

Rating: ⭐⭐

I struggled with this one a lot, and not only because of the horrific content.

For those who don't know the story or live outside the US, in 2018 Chris Watts murdered his pregnant wife Shanann and two young daughters Bella (4) and CeCe (3). He buried his wife in a shallow grave at one of his work sites, and dumped the bodies of his daughters into separate oil tanks also on the property. Even more horrifyingly, the girls were alive when he buried their mom. They rode in the truck with him as he drove to the site. Watts has given conflicting accounts, but stated that he then killed Cece, with Bella watching, and she begged him to stop when he went after her next. He also stated initially that he killed Shanann in a fit of rage after discovering she had smothered the girls in their sleep. Instead, it was he who had attempted to do so - he and Shanann were arguing, he left their room and smothered the girls with a pillow, then returned and killed Shanann. Watts stated the girls woke up and had only been unconscious, that both came into their parents' room with bruising, traumatized. He has also stated that he put them in the oil tanks so they wouldn't wake up again.

I don't understand it. I never will. This man is a monster. He wanted to be with his mistress, he even tried to somehow end Shanann's pregnancy (a boy, already named Nico) because he thought he could not divorce her if she was still pregnant. When that didn't work he resorted to murdering his whole family, just for a new piece of ass. This whole situation is disturbing and disgusting and I wish crimes involving the murder of children were automatic death sentences. (Actually, any crime involving children, especially rape and sexual abuse. There is no rehabilitating that.) I can't even look at pictures or videos of those sweet little girls, girls who loved their daddy so much, their bright happy faces, and knowing what he did to them. It is too much, too awful, too heartbreaking.

Aside from the content regarding the murders and everything leading up to that, the part that always makes me uncomfortable with books like this is when an attempt is made to diagnose a mental illness of some kind. Now, in this case the author would be qualified to do so, as she is a licensed psychotherapist. Her specialty practice is in relationships and is certified in Imago Relationship Therapy. I had no idea what that was and had to Google it. And even though she is certified and is a therapist, I do take issue with diagnosing those who are not one's patients. The author even stated she is not diagnosing, though that is in fact how it comes across.

Far less important, but something I will mention nonetheless, is that it bothers me when authors misuse literary references. At 85% the author writes: "For the entire eight years she had spent with Chris, he had acted one way with her and only up until six weeks before he killed her, did he turn from Mr. Hyde to Dr. Jekyll. Shanann stated that she didn't know who he was anymore." So, either Chris was a murdering psychopath for eight years up until the six weeks before he murdered his family and he suddenly could control his impulses in those last six weeks, or the author mixed up who was who. Or I am misunderstanding her intent with that suggestion/quote? Either way, he obviously was NOT a raging psychopath for the first eight years, because literally everyone who ever knew him said they just could not believe he had done this, he was helpful and quiet and kind. Definitely NOT a Hyde.

I found the account of the crime itself to be decently-written and accurate based on what I had read elsewhere of the case, though obviously there was more here than what you would find in newspaper/online articles. For that portion of the book I would give it 3 or 4 stars. But I simply can not get behind diagnosing someone who is not your patient, that you have never had a conversation with. It is negligent at best, and flat out dangerous at worst. It is 100% true that anyone who reads Watts' own statements about feeling nothing for his family as he killed them can come to the conclusion that he is probably a psychopath/sociopath, but even so, doctors know better than to do so. Especially when it involves them making money from a book where such statements are written, no matter if they say they are not diagnosing.

Book Review | The Little Book of Feminist Saints

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐

I got this book from a good friend for Christmas and had every intention first of reading it to myself daily, a brief snippet about a strong, courageous, bad-ass woman who rightly deserves to have her story told. Instead, I read it in a couple hours. Oops.

I love the feel of the book, instead of a 'little book of saints' one might be given for First Communion or Confirmation, the book is an entirely secular look at women who have broken barriers, faced obstacles, and still succeeded - and should be rightly praised for such endeavors. To be clear, that is where the difference lies, as we are obviously not worshiping them or praying to them. Or, I guess some might, if feminism is their sole religion.

Much like a little book of saints book, there is a beautiful illustration of the woman discussed, and on the opposite page her name, what she is the 'matron saint' of, year/where she was born, and her feast day (birthday). There is also a quote by or about the saint, and a short paragraph or two. This summary is by no means meant to serve as even as the briefest of biographies, which the author states at the beginning of the book. Instead, we get bold anecdotes, brief but brilliant stories of what makes that particular woman so powerful, mighty, strong.

I feel like this was a really great mix of women from all walks of life. The women range from Italian artists and Japanese rebels, to Russian pilots and English geniuses. There are many women from the United States, but there are also women from a variety of countries. I assume the American influence is because the author is from the United States, which some reviewers found worthy of criticism. However, one also has to keep in mind the ease of access to certain information from countries that may not be all that anxious to share the successes and triumphs of women - especially women who work hard to smash the patriarchy. There are quite a few women here I had never heard of before, as well as the ones you would expect - Oprah, Steinem, Venus and Serena.

One of my favorite aspects of the book were the titles given to the women, the thing or idea they were the matron saint of. Here are a few that I especially loved:

Michelle Obama - Matron Saint of Ladies

Kanno Sugako - Matron Saint of Radicals

Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon - Matron Saints of Marriage

Barbara Jordan - Matron Saint of the Constitution

Hypatia - Matron Saint of Scholars

Nelly Bly - Matron Saint of Journalists

Phillis Wheatley - Matron Saint of Readers

The Williams Sisters - Matron Saints of Athletes

Anne Frank - Matron Saint of Diarists

The Mirabel Sisters - Matron Saint of Rebels

Banazir Bhutto - Matron Saint of Democracy

Malala Yousafzai - Matron Saint of Students

Kasha Nabagesera - Matron Saint of Coming Out

Marsha P. Johnson - Matron Saint of Protest

Ruby Bridges - Matron Saint of First Steps

Junko Tabei - Matron Saint of Summits

Anna Politkovskaya - Matron Saint of the Brave

The Night Witches - Matron Saints of the Sky

Lise Meitner - Patron Saint of Discovery

Pussy Riot - Matron Saints of Punk

Juana Inés De La Cruz - Matron Saint of Intellectuals

Kara Walker - Matron Saint of Confronting History

Louisa May Alcott - Matron Saint of Scribblers

Shirley Chisolm - Matron Saint of Firsts

Grace Hopper - Matron Saint of Programmers

Faith Spotted Eagle - Matron Saint of Activists

Okay, I know I said a few but as I was going through the book I could not stop and well, here we are.

Eleanor and I have read both volumes of Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls, which is along the same lines, and loved them even if I find the title problematic (we shouldn't refer to the women in those books as rebels, because we need to normalize successful women, not make them exceptions to the rule). I plan to read this to her as well and give her the tools she needs to continue the work of smashing away at that glass ceiling and fucking up the patriarchy.

Book Review | Vicious (Sinners of Saint, #1)

Rating: No clue

Okay, so anyone who reads my blog regularly is wondering what the fuck is going on and if I have been kidnapped, or have suddenly been hit on the head and have amnesia in regards to my usual reading habits. Not only is this book fiction, but it is not written by Karen McManus, it is not YA, and it is not even a thriller.

I don't now either.

I would post the synopsis, but that would probably confuse everyone even more.

Basically, this book has been popping up as an ad for ages every time I flip open my Kindle cover to wake her up so I can read. And honestly, dude on the cover is hooooooooooooot. Smokin' hot, even. And this is super unusual, because I usually make fun of covers that have half naked dudes on them because they are so trashy and corny and hilarious. Plus, it was free on Kindle Unlimited.

The story itself is what I would assume is a typical enemies-to-lovers story, and I get why the male lead was so fucked up, but I truly do not understand being in love with a guy who is a raging asshole and refers to you as, "Help" because your parents work for his mega-rich family on their estate. And guys like that don't change, let alone in as short of a time as Vicious did in this story. His real name is Baron Spencer Jr but his nickname is Vicious because he is, as I stated earlier, a total asshole and has been since they were teenagers, when everyone was already calling him that. And I think the whole nickname for him and his three buddies, the 'HotHoles' is really stupid. Like, that's the name they gave themselves? Or the name someone else came up with for these four super hot, rich, athletic guys who ruled their high school?

The book has a pretty high rating on Goodreads, 4.17. I did not give it a star rating because I don't think it is fair to do so when it is something so way far outside my normal read, even as I slowly but surely work a little more fiction into the mix.

All that aside, I really have no defense except...dude on the cover was hot. The end.

Stacking the Shelves #82

Stacking the Shelves is a weekly feature co-hosted by Tynga's Reviews and Reading Reality. It is a chance to showcase all the goodies you've collected throughout the week, whether they're bought on-line or in-store, an ARC or a final copy, borrowed from a friend or the library, physical or digital, etc.

Library Treasures
  

Amazon (FREE!)

What did you add to your stash this week?

Happy Reading!

Sarah

Tackling the TBR Week 6: Feb 8 - Feb 14, 2020

My TBR has been out of control for YEARS. Then in January of 2019 I started tracking weekly my true reading/acquiring habits, and voila! I have been able to keep on top of things a little bit better. I may never get below 1,000 books, but at least I won't be topping out over 5,000!

I will be posting on the 7th, 14th, 21st, and the last day of the month. Feel free to join in if you'd like!

If you read these posts often, you will recall that it's usually just a boring list of numbers. I am trying to make it more interactive and show off what I am reading and potential treasures I am finding.

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Previous Week's TBR Total: 3,137

Currently Reading: 11

  

Books Added to TBR: 4

   

Books Removed from TBR: 8

Books Read: 3

  

Books DNF-ed: 0

Duplicates Removed: 0

New TBR Total: 3,128

What do you think of the new additions, yay or nay on including select covers?

Any of these catch your eye? Or have you already read any?

Happy Reading!

Sarah

First Line Friday #94

First Line Friday is brought to you by Hoarding Books. Playing along is easy: open the book nearest you and share the first line. Then check out the link to see the other first lines offered up this week.

"What do you mean it's not airing tomorrow?"

This book is fantastic. It is the second I have read on the Weinstein case and is by far the better of the two - I am referencing She Said by Jodi Kantor and Meghan Twohey. Farrow is much more skilled at writing, which was a surprise to me at first because he was not a print journalist when this all started coming to light; Kantor and Twohey are. This is an excellent account of scummy, powerful men finally being brought down by their terrible crimes and I am here for it 100%.

Leave a comment and let me know what you think!

Happy Reading,
Sarah

Book Review | The Great Beanie Baby Bubble: Mass Delusion and the Dark Side of Cute

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐

This story is all kinds of fucked up in a deliciously gossipy sort of way, while also being incredibly sad because this was my life when they were popular - not like, fighting people in parking lots over Beanies, but I was pretty obsessed. And mainly, I wanted all the bears. My nickname from the time I was itty bitty was Sarah Bear and I absolutely fell in love with the Beanie bears the first time I saw them, and have more of those than any others, though I have tons of other animals too, for real. And yes, Mom and I drove to several McDonald's locations when Teeny Beanies were a thing and looking back I feel bad that I wanted something so much that my mom was willing to do that for me, and even spend money on toys I did not truly need, when she could have been using it for something far more important.

I am also really glad I am reading this two decades removed from the madness, (plus the book came out in 2015). I probably would have been far angrier about the shady tactics Ty Warner used to drive sales. You can't really fault the guy for coming up with a cute product, and then psycho suburban moms taking that idea and running with it on a mission to collect every single one. He certainly did not turn those women in psychos at the on-set, though he fueled the madness once he saw what was happening.

The author does an really great job in showing just how much research went into the book, which might seem surprising when one considers the fact that we are talking about mere children's toys. However, as others have pointed out, once the adults got involved, everything was ruined and greed took over. We are talking seriously crazed here. In addition to interviewing the usual people you would find in a micro-history like this, there are some exceptionally interesting people - such as the person behind bars for killing a co-worker over these damn things. Read that again. 

Seriously.

Warner's story begins slowly and that part was less interesting to me, but that does not make it any less important. It matters because it made him into the person he became, and that person was someone with very good ideas who was able to exploit a very real human weakness and laugh all the way to the bank about it.

I learned so much about a toy I had loved so much and truly known so little about - but honestly how would I have ever known that stuff anyway? And would I have really cared? Actually, by the time I was in middle/high school, knowing that Warner retired certain Beanies just to drive their value and sales up, I would have been really pissed about such a shady practice. It is entirely possible that I would have given up collecting any except the bears, because as I said, those were my favorites, and not due to any perceived value. I just loved teddy bears.

Besides the fact that we see how ruthless Warner was when it came to getting what he wanted, we also see that he alone was not responsible for the explosion that resulted in the 'retiring' of Beanies. Warner is a perfectionist, to be sure. That is also plain as day. Initially the original Beanies were retired as Warner tinkered with his idea, changing colors, adding or removing spots, stripes, etc. I wonder if he had any inkling of what was to come just by evolving his product the tiniest bit. I also partly blame the authors who came out of the woodwork with all kinds of collector guides, which in hindsight is so ridiculous because they were constantly having to be updated as current and predicted values changed. But people still bought those guides en masse, further driving sales.

Warner remains the villain no matter what else is said, but damn if this was not an interesting read. He just knew what would work and what wouldn't, and as the popularity grew and customers were climbing over one another to get the 'rare' Beanies, he nipped and tucked and tweaked until he had what he wanted. He was also very business savvy early on when he elected to only sell his creations in small toy shops, gift shops, mom-and-pop type places as opposed to major chains. It made the Beanies even harder to find when you could not just go into Wal-Mart and paw through bins and bins of the things.

All in all, an interesting read about a time when you thought the world could simply not get any crazier. By comparison, those were much simpler times. Recommended!