Publicist Gift | Wiving: A Memoir of Loving and Leaving the Patriarchy

I received a free digital copy from the publisher in exchange for an honest review

Rating ⭐⭐⭐

This book has taken me a long to review, and I am not sure why. I absolutely loved Educated by Tara Westover and this was similar in some ways, but completely different in most other ways. I don't want this to seem like I am comparing them, even though that is what it looks like I am doing. It is just that I am not quite sure how to describe how I could relate to one experience so much better than the other, despite the fact that my life could not be further from either of these experiences.

Caitlin Myer is an incredibly strong, brave, powerful woman. The courage it takes to confront her past, her family secrets, and drag all of those things out into the light is phenomenal. She details her strict Mormon upbringing, her mother's illnesses, and the family dynamic that she grew up in.

From early on, Myer's mom's health has a huge impact on her life. Her mother is sick and never leaves her bed most of the time. This of course also impacts the family as a whole, with the mom-sized space often vacant in their lives. Myer focuses on being the happy, dutiful child so that when sexual abuse occurs, she hides it. To accuse, to speak out against it, was simply unacceptable. So Myer hid it, exactly as anyone brought up in similar confines would have done.

However, those assaults also make Myer who she is, because of how she changed and grew after they occurred. So she has to contend with this image expected of a perfect Mormon wife, with the real person she is becoming. The two do not mesh. Myer realizes eventually she is not able to be, nor does she really want to be, that ideal. We then follow her journey as she leave the church, thus also leaving her family. There is so much to her story, and Myer must navigate the world once she leaves, figuring out what her own expectations are for her life. Previously, her expectations did not really matter. She would grow up, get married, be the perfect Mormon wife, have a couple children, and the cycle would repeat.

Except, once she left, she had this whole new sense of freedom, despite a past that still weighed her down, at times was so heavy that it was suffocating.

It was really hard for me to stay in the story. It was not the content itself, as I have read more than my fair share of uncomfortable truths. I think the main drawback for me is the writing style itself. Sometimes it is almost conversational, but then that conversation veers off and meanders and I had a difficult time sometimes catching up, or even wanting to catch up. Other times it was almost more like reading her journal, but still with the fragments and meandering. The writing made it hard to connect to the stories she was weaving. Other readers may likely enjoy this style more, but for me it did not work in this case. It is almost like the style is too light-hearted for such serious and painful topics.

Recommended for those who enjoy memoirs, especially memoirs having to do with leaving strict and religious upbringings, and who will not be triggered by content involving sexual assault.

Special Feature | Eleanor Reads! July Edition

It will come as a surprise to literally no one that Eleanor and I have both done a pretty solid amount of reading when school closed in March due to COVID-19. It's summer now and I officially have a second grader. We will still be working on school material over the summer, but much more leisurely now. I figured we might as well, since most of the places we love to visit during the summer have taken the position of remaining closed until further notice. Besides, I don't feel comfortable taking her out anyway.

Each month I will share the chapter books we've read for the month. It is fun to look back on everything we've read. We've been reading chapter books since before Kindergarten and her attention span as a four year old was definitely something to brag about. Eleanor was born a reader and that makes my heart so, so happy.

                                          

You You can tell school is coming up soon, right? We've crammed as many books as possible into July, because who knows what August will bring! And now that Eleanor is on this paranormal kick, one of our fave librarians found a new series or two Eleanor might also enjoy...

Do the kiddos in your life have an interest in any of these?

Happy Reading,
Eleanor and Sarah

First Line Friday #119

First Line Friday is brought to you by Hoarding Books. Playing along is easy: open the book nearest you and share the first line. Then check out the link to see the other first lines posted this week.

***You might have noticed an increase in recent weeks of books written by Black and African-American authors in a variety of genres. Since the murder of George Floyd and the spotlight once again shining on the mistreatment of our Black Brothers and Sisters, I am working on amplifying voices that often get shouted down. I have started a #BlackLivesMatter Reading List and would love any suggestions over on that page. My main contributions so far have been of non-fiction, big surprise, so I am looking for fiction especially.***

"Nothing could be seen on the empty streets of Columbus, Georgia, during the early spring nights of 1868, except what the moon might faintly illuminate."

Leave a comment and let me know what you think, and leave a link to your FLF so I can stop by to see what you've posted this week.

Happy Reading!
Sarah

Books From The Backlog #55

Books from the Backlog, hosted by Carole's Random Life in Books, is a fun way to feature some of those neglected books sitting on your shelf unread.

I am featuring books in the order that they were added to my Goodreads To-Read shelf, so sometimes there will be a couple weeks in a row of books on the same topic.

Neglected Book of the Week

Why did I add The Mistresses of Henry VIII to my TBR?

Because I'm curious to see how many mistresses and illegitimate children this author is going to propose that Henry had. I have read some pretty outlandish claims backed up by little-to-no evidence and wonder what I will find here.

Have you read this book, or is it somewhere on your TBR? If you've read it, would you recommend it to others?

Happy Reading!

Sarah

Book Talk Summary: Me and White Supremacy by Layla F. Saad

First off, thank you to everyone who participated in the discussions from the book over the last twenty eight days. I love that discussions occurred here, as well as via Twitter, Facebook, and even over the phone.

These are heavy, uncomfortable topics. But, they are also massively important topics. If we want to be allies to our BIPOC Sisters and Brothers, we must confront all aspects of white supremacy and tear it down.

There are several posts I have not yet added my answers to, and I confess that sometimes it is exhausting to think about - truly think about and figure out how to do better and be better. But I remind myself that if this is all exhausting to THINK about, how absolutely awful must it be to LIVE with the consequences of white supremacy as part of your daily life as a BIPOC?

I will be adding my own answers to those posts where I have not done so yet and I hope we can continue to have these conversations. I have learned from others already, and I hope to continue to do so.

Here is the link to all 28 days' worth of posts for you to peruse and mull over, and I look forward to continuing these important conversations with you.

In solidarity,

Sarah