BookSirens ARC | Fallible: A Memoir of a Young Physician's Struggle with Mental Illness

I received a free digital copy via BookSirens in exchange for an honest review.

Rating ⭐⭐⭐

I appreciate the author's experiences and his willingness to share his struggles of what most would consider deeply personal. Unfortunately the stigma surrounding mental illnesses is still in full effect so this makes it difficult for so many to speak up when they need help. Books like this are important, because it helps others going through these same struggles feel less alone. However, sometimes these books can also end up overwhelming their intentions when they involve many threads and do not all seem to connect in a complete way for the reader.

The author does not shy away from the realities of life as a med student and resident, while dealing with anxiety and depression, while also being a young husband and eventually father. It was frustrating to read about these older physicians often taking out their own anger or issues on residents, or just power-tripping for no reason. That mental strain alone would cause plenty of mental health issues on their own.

I have to say, straight-up, referring to his anxiety and depression as a "gargoyle" really got old quickly. Perhaps we can more quickly get rid of the stigma of mental illness if we simply refer to it as what it is, instead of trying to characterize it differently.

There is a lot going on here and while memoirs can often be kind of scattered at times, this one felt scattered due to the many complex issues all at play at once. The author talks about his religious life as a member of the Church of Latter-day Saints, and we see how that faith kind of ebbs and flows as he gets through med school and goes onto his residency. I am curious about whether or not his faith had anything to do with his reaction or outlook regarding therapy. I do not know a lot about the LDS church and what their stance is on psychiatry, but I wondered if that played a part, as it always seemed to be a negative experience for him - in the brief glimpses we got of that aspect of his dealing with his anxiety and depression. In fact, I would have liked to known more about that avenue, because the discussion of therapy sometimes seemed like an afterthought. There was the issue of meds and them working or not, but nothing in-depth.

This book takes many routes at once, and they don't always converge with one another. At certain points in the book it was definitely about Jones and his struggles with internally dealing with everything. Other times it was about how literally everything outside of him was only making his battles worse.

I guess the picture is disjointed, but when dealing with mental illnesses, that is often the reality, so it does make sense in that regard. Despite my issues with the text I still think this is a valuable contribution to the books and memoirs specifically that deal with such topics.