I began this book last week and would love to have discussions based on the prompts provided within the book. The book is set up so that after each day's reading, there are a handful of prompts to respond to. Feel free to respond to as many or as few as you like. I would love for this to be a discussion and a place where we can learn and grow together. Please be honest, because that is the only way anything will change.
Additionally, I have been compiling a list of books under the #BlackLivesMatter Reading List tab. I am usually adding books daily that I find, or are recommended by others. Please leave a comment on that page if you have titles to add. I hope you can find titles on this list that you will learn from as well.
Day Twenty-Five Prompts
1. How do you feel about speaking up against racism and white supremacist beliefs and actions to your family members?
2. How have you excused or ignored your family members' racist behaviors because addressing them seems too difficult and you want to keep the peace?
3. How have you excused your elders' racism because they are "from another time"?
4. If you are a parent, how do you speak to your children about racism beyond "we don't see color"? How early did you or will you speak to your children about racism and white privilege? How early did your parents or caregivers speak to you about racism and white privilege?
5. What racist beliefs have you internalized from your family?
6. To what extent do you place white comfort over antiracism in your family?
7. What are some ways in which you can begin to have deeper conversations with your family about racism?
8. How do you allow perfectionism to get in the way of having racial conversations with your family?
9. In what ways do you (or can you) organize your family to show up for BIPOC in your communities? Not from a place of white saviorism, but rather by volunteering at and donating to antiracist movements and organizations being led by BIPOC in your communities?
Let's talk!
Sarah
1. It depends on the family members. With my immediate family, I am able to have discussions. As modern as my mom tries to be, she still follows traditional Mexican beliefs, such as the whiter the skin, the better, but she listens to me when I say something that goes against her beliefs. My stepdad is white but he grew up in a conservative household. Some of his beliefs are difficult to understand so I find myself getting into arguments with him, but at least he listens. Now when it comes to my husband's family, I keep quiet. It is a very touchy situation. My husband's family is super conservative and extremely religious. I already had to battle with them for being Mexican and a belly dancer. Luckily, my husband's immediate family welcomed me. Now I need to figure out a way to talk to them without causing divisions (we've only been married for over a year).
ReplyDelete2. Continuing from my first response, my husband is overprotected of his family. I am happy that he does not have the same beliefs as they do. He broke away from his church years ago because of the "backward" way they thought (his words). However, if anything negative is said about his family, he gets very defensive. I have made a few points (and continue to do so) about the hypocrisy in his family when it comes to gender, race, and religion. He listens to me and respects my views, but he does try to change the subject.
3. Depending who says it. With my grandma, I just listen to her and nod. When she's done talking, I treat her like one of my students, "I understand you feel/think ___, but some people ____." She listens and nods. She does not fully understand since she's getting dementia but she listens. With my husband's elders, I just listen. If they ask for my opinion, I keep it simple. I say, "I don't agree" or "I think (2 or 3 words)."
4. I'm not a parent yet, but I try to speak to my students about white privileged and racism. My 5th graders enjoy having these discussions.
5. Unfortunately, I've internalized the misconception that Black men are dangerous. It is something that I am trying to work on.
6-9. I need to work on it.
I definitely agree on it depending which family members I am having these discussions with. Immediate family, no problem - it is my mom and I and we are on the same page. The rest of my family, aunts and uncles, grandparents, are mostly on the same page. I have one family member who completely checks out and says he wants to be left out of conversations. It is frustrating because nothing is accomplished by sitting out.
DeleteI think it is great that you mom and you are able to have those discussions, even when your outlook does not line up with hers. Just being able to have that dialogue is important. I also find it at least encouraging that you step-dad will listen. Maybe over time some of his beliefs will change. I know I myself want immediate change, but we have to meet people where they are, and pull them along as much as they are willing. I get impatient, but I am learning to control that.
Do you find that your husband's family purposely bring up topics where your opinion differs, or does it come more from a discussion of current events? (And if you don't want to answer I completely understand). I can imagine that it does put your husband in a difficult position, because he loves you and he loves his family. Even so, these conversations do need to keep happening all over, and I think it is really great that you do have them - even if he changes the subject!