NetGalley ARC | You Be You!: The Kid’s Guide to Gender, Sexuality, and Family

I received a free copy of this ARC from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

From Goodreads:

This is an illustrated children's book for ages 7-11 that makes gender identity, sexual orientation, and family diversity easy to explain to children.

Throughout the book kids learn that there are many kinds of people in the world and that diversity is something to be celebrated. It covers gender, romantic orientation, discrimination, intersectionality, privilege, and how to stand up for what's right. With charming illustrations, clear explanations, and short sections that can be dipped in and out of, this book helps children think about how to create a kinder, more tolerant world.

++++++++++

I LOVED this book and am so happy I found it. It is such a well-thought out guide to help children understand very complex topics. I love that it not only handled the topics of gender, sex, and orientation, but also intersectionality, privilege, being an ally, and discrimination. In fact, each of the latter have a chapter dedicated to them, just as the obvious topics did before them.

I really loved the illustrations, which are more or less anatomically correct. I also loved the fact that in addition to the gender, sex, and orientation diversity, there was a slew of ethnic and racial diversity too. So much about this book truly was perfect, that I will definitely be reading it to Eleanor in the future either from the library or our own copy. We have had conversations in the past, starting around age four or so, about how a person can love whoever they want - this came from a time when she saw two young men holding hands. Without overloading her brain at the time, I explained that boys can marry boys, or girls; girls can marry girls, or boys. As she gets older I will start addressing the gender spectrum and will definitely use this book to do so. The explanations and examples are so clear, it will do a much better job than I alone could.

NetGalley and Goodreads indicate the book is geared toward the 5-10 range and I would agree with that to an extent, but it runs about 80 pages. There's not a ton of text on each page, sometimes a paragraph or two, and illustrations abound, but it might still be hard for a five year old to listen for that long if you plan to read straight-through. I agree a lot with the blurb, stating it can be a book you 'dip in and out of', and maybe you read a chapter at a time. That is likely what I would do with Eleanor, because these definitely are complicated issues and I also want her to ask questions and not be overwhelmed with information and her own questions at the same time. And honestly, there are plenty of adults who stand to benefit from the overall message even if the content makes them uncomfortable: 

You be you! And help others be themselves.

It is literally the last line of the book, and one of the best. if we are trying to raise up the next generation to be kinder and gentler, I can't think of a better message. You are you, how you feel is okay, how you see yourself is okay, and no one has the right to make you feel ashamed or scared. If we want to truly support and understand one another, we have to be willing to open our minds and hearts and accept that the world is a big, diverse place, and that diversity in ALL its forms is a good thing. Regardless of any of the things that make us different, respect and kindness are key.

Highly recommended.

NetGalley ARC: You Are Your Strong

I received a free digital ARC from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review

Rating: 4 Stars

This book is absolutely beautiful - and not just the illustrations. The whole book, the theme, the words, the pictures, it is all exactly what you want a book about emotions to be for the children who need it. And by need, I don't just mean the ones who need it at that moment, but for all children, who will at some point or another have to deal with emotions that are bigger than they are. As much as we want to, we can't shield them from everything and big emotions are part of growing up. We need to prepare children to handle them in a positive, productive way and this book does wonders for that.

Both the words and illustrations are simple and calm, yet powerful - even magical. Even in its simplicity, the author does a wonderful job of showing children how to regulate their emotions, and how to deal with them, feel them, and not get stuck feeling one kind of way. The author moves through a wide range of emotions, giving children positive ways to overcome the negative thoughts and feelings. I feel like this was well-done, and did not imply that feeling those emotions were bad. I think too often kids feel like they can't or shouldn't be angry or sad. I teach in a self-contained behavior skills classroom; time and again myself and our paraprofessionals explains to our students that emotions are normal and healthy, but we don't want to get stuck on them, and we want to show those emotions and how we feel in a way that is still appropriate and won't hurt anyone, including the person feeling the emotion.

In the beginning we see adults showing the children in the book how to overcome these powerful and sometimes scary emotions. That scaffolding piece is so important, because we have to show children how to regulate these emotions on their own, so they do not become dependent on adults to talk them through it every time. The message that each child has their own Strong, that they can draw on that inner strength to overcome the big, negative feelings, in invaluable. This doesn't mean that we should always expect every child to 'figure it out for themselves', but we must give them the tools and strategies they need to handle overwhelming emotions.

I will definitely be purchasing this book when it comes out, to be able to read with my five year old daughter. I will also be using it in my classroom. Highly recommended!

Those Three Words: A Birthmother's Story of Choice, Chance and Motherhood

I was contacted by the publisher, Wise Ink Creative Publishing, and offered a digital copy in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Rating: 3.5 Stars

This is a story that far too many women of all ages can relate to. For a multitude of reasons that are most often deeply private, there are women who are forced to make a decision that they don't want to make - to give a baby up for adoption. In the author's case she was eighteen at the time, and had just started college when she discovered she was pregnant. I can imagine how scary this would be to someone who is legally an adult, but has only recently struck out on their own for the first time, away from family. I connected to this story because, though I was not 18 at the time (I was 29), finding this out was so overwhelming for me. I too was far from my family and in a new city where I knew no one. I had just started a new job, so there had been many changes going on. My daughter's father and I had broken up the very week I found out I was pregnant with Eleanor. Luckily I was in a better situation - I already had two degrees and a secure job. Still, there were so many emotions that come along with "those three words", it was a rough couple of weeks. I never considered any option besides having and raising my child, but I received a lot of advice from a lot of people. I was simply better equipped to be able to do so, and I think Bauer made a gut-wrenching but correct choice.

The author's journey from considering suicide to making the decision to give her baby up for adoption was incredibly moving. This is a decision that will impact the rest of her life, and really is a testament to a mother's love. Bauer knew she was not capable of caring for a child when she was still a teenager herself. How could she, when she had just started college and had yet to gain the necessary knowledge and skills to obtain employment that would comfortably support herself and a child?

The aspect I was most interested in was when Bauer and her daughter, Katie, made contact later in life. I found this to be a great reinforcement of the decision Bauer made. Katie had been placed in a loving home and had thrived. I found myself worrying a bit that the reunion would not happen, or that Katie might not want to attempt a relationship. I think the fact that Katie's family was supportive of that relationship is another testament to that same parental love.

Growing a Girl

Rating: 3 Stars

Review:

First, the book was published in 1996, so it will come across as very dated because it is.

However, there are some things it still has going for it - the strategies and key ideas themselves are great takeaways. At several times the author also suggests several books to support these strategies - from positive heroines, to women in history and science.

Unfortunately, the anecdotes were beyond absurd. The one that sticks out to me above all others came early on when a little girl sat on her basketball and pretended she was hatching an egg, because apparently girls can't play basketball. I don't know why this story annoyed me above all the other stupidly absurd and, in many cases, unrealistic or ridiculous examples. Perhaps it's because for Christmas just a few months ago my (then) 18 month old got a Little Tikes basketball hoop of her own, and has had no trouble figuring out what the ball and hoop are for.

Side note: we still love Disney in this house, and own, (not rent) the majority of the DVDs. Additionally, the positives I took away from reading the Baby-Sitters Club books when I was younger is that these girls were my age and they started their own business. Apparently Dr Mackoff took away something else entirely. 

So, to sum it up, skip the anecdotes and focus on the actual key ideas and strategies offered. Most often, the filler isn't worth your time.

Additionally:

I reread the review just now and realized it does seem kind of negative. There are many positives that parents can learn from this book that would be helpful in making sure our young women grow up confident and sure of themselves. I would recommend the book, I simply meant that some of the stories Mackoff provides are ridiculous.

Parenting Your Powerful Child

Rating: 4 Stars

Review:

I myself was a powerful child. I know what a handful I could at times be for my mom, and I myself now have a daughter so...naturally it is possible she too could become a powerful child, hence why I was interested in this title.

When you get past the cheesy, forced conversationalist writing style, there are many good points. Dr Leman provides examples and anecdotes - I just could do without his childhood stuff. We get it, you were a naughty, bratty little shit when you were younger. You say so IN EVERY BOOK. Well, both that I've read so far ('The Birth Order Book' being the other, though I enjoy the original title, 'Abel Had it Coming' much more.) It just gets repetitive after a while. I do see value in the book however, as I have a Master's in behavior disorders and work exclusively with those children in a self-contained classroom. I couldn't help but smile when Dr Leman mentioned the kid being diagnosed as 'operational defiant' when all he needed was the parent to really talk. In some cases that is true; for my students at the 'revenge' stage however, the diagnosis is quite correct. I'd like to give a copy of this book to parents each year of the new students who join my class. It could go a long way toward helping many.