Publisher Gift via NetGalley | Where the Light Fell: A Memoir

 

I received an invitation from the publisher to download a copy via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Rating ⭐⭐⭐⭐

I received an email from the publisher inviting me to read this memoir that stated it was similar to books such as Educated by Tara Westover, which I loved, so I decided to give it a try. I suppose 'loved' isn't entirely accurate, because her story is at times downright terrifying, but I think you understand what I mean.

I have never read Yancey's other work, and I confess I had never heard of him until I read this one. He is incredibly brave for sharing this with the world and I found I could not put the book down.

Yancey details his life, living with his mother and older brother, Marshall after the death of his father. His father died young from Polio, so it was just the three of them for a very long time. The elder Yancey died after he and his wife, southern fundamentalist Christians, decided to leave his health and life to God and reject the option of remaining in the Iron Lung. It would be a decision with catastrophic consequences for many years to come, beyond his death which of course in itself was catastrophic for the young family.

From then on Yancey, his brother, and mother moved constantly. She relied on support from their church and from teaching Bible studies whenever she could, wherever they were at. Being without means, the family often moved nearly every year in order to find affordable housing. The boys were constantly uprooted as their mother drove herself deeper and deeper into incredibly hostile religious beliefs, among them being that her sons were meant for some great divine purpose and she would do everything she could to ensure they stayed on that path to becoming missionaries.

Of course, this would not go well.

Despite both boys being gifted in various ways (musically, academically, etc), this was not enough for their mother. Or rather, those were not the gifts she wanted them to use, not the gifts she believed they were put on their earth to grow with.

As the boys get older, Marshall becomes increasingly adept at standing up to their mother who is constantly coming at them with the fire-and-brimstone sure to engulf the boys if they stray. Yet stray they do - yet their paths diverge greatly in how they do so.

When Marshall first went off to college, he attended Columbia Bible College. Yet his rebellion came quickly and when he transferred to a less-zealous/more-liberal school, their mother reacted as one would expect: cursing him by calling on God to paralyze him or cause him to go crazy. Yet Marshall managed to go on with his life as he wanted to, as his mother's religious convictions simply drove him further and further from the church and faith she clung to so tightly. It will surprise no one that Marshall became an atheist.

Philip would eventually follow his brother to Columbia Bible College, where he had his own rebellions. Yet, despite his mother's behavior, Philip was not driven away from the church. Instead, it caused him to delve deeper into faith, to explore the possibilities of faith and grace, instead of faith tied to the constant fear his mother had raged at them all their lives. Yancey details at length his constant questioning of the world around him in his time at the Bible college and it eventually led him down the path he has walked to reach this point, where he can look back on his life so far and find healing.

There is no denying that the boys had an abusive upbringing, given the two vastly different personalities their mother possessed. So proper and deeply spiritual in public, yet at home spiritual in such a violent way that can't really be called spiritual at all. Through this memoir though, it seems the author has come to terms with that childhood and young adulthood. It eventually delivered him to where he is now, blessed in having found true faith with grace and forgiveness.

Highly recommended.

Life's Work: A Moral Argument for Choice

Rating: 5 Stars

Wow. What a book.

I could not put this book down. I read it in a matter of a few hours and was constantly stopping to take notes. For so long I have had to try to explain how it is possible to be both pro-choice and a Christian, and here I can finally explain so articulately, because Dr. Parker has done so.

Dr. Parker did not come to his decision to become an abortion provider over night. It was a long process of evolving for him, into understanding that there is a moral argument to be made for providing women of all ages, races, social classes, religions, and so on a safe space in which they can receive the service of a doctor like Parker - services which are 100% LEGAL in the US. And the shameful state laws being passed, slowly but surely chipping away at Roe v. Wade are trying to ensure that even if abortion is legal, the poorest of the poor and the already-disenfranchised will have no way to access a safe and legal procedure they may desperately need.

The narrative here is thought-provoking, compelling, and helped me understand even better my position on the issue of abortion. I am pro-choice. Always have been, always will be. I can even recall an incident in 4th grade where a boy named Eric and I got into an argument one day during class - we were arguing about abortion, of all things for 4th graders to be arguing about. Looking back, I feel sorry for Ms. LeMay, who must have wondered what she had done wrong in order for this to debate to rage in her classroom. I clearly remember stomping into my aunt and uncle's house after school (Mom worked until 5) and shouting about how this boy said that abortion was murdering babies, and how could anyone even think that because a fetus and a baby were not the same thing?! Deep thoughts for a 4th grader, eh? I still feel as strongly about the issue now as I did then. Women must have, and deserve, to have autonomy over their own bodies.

This is our right.

You will not take it away.

It is our right to decide to have children, or not. To decide when is the right time to become a mother, and when it is not. For some, there is never a right time, and that is okay. Whether or not to have an abortion is not a decision any woman comes to lightly. I can promise you, no pregnant woman wakes up one morning and proclaims, "What a lovely day, think I'll go 'round to the clinic for an abortion after lunch."

Literally, none.

Yet this 100% LEGAL MEDICAL PROCEDURE is so heavily stigmatized, and even women who know they made the right decision for themselves by choosing to terminate a pregnancy, are made to feel ashamed, as though anyone else has the right to judge their life and the things they've been through that brought them to that choice.

As you might surmise, this is a topic I am incredibly passionate about. I will fight tooth and nail until the end of time and do whatever I can to ensure that access to safe and legal abortions are always an option for women. But for a long while now, as I found my way back to my faith after Eleanor was born nearly six years ago, I have had to wrestle with this question, of how I reconcile my belief in a woman's right to control her own body, with being a follower of Christ. Turns out, it is not as difficult as I thought it would be, given the daily barrage of right-leaning politicians who profess that their Christian faith demands they put an end to abortion immediately.

Dr. Parker's word spoke to me in a way that had be constantly wanting to shout, "Exactly!" as I read. He was able to, as a born-again Christian who has since found that Quakerism within the last decade or so, say everything I regularly want to say and articulate these thoughts in a meaningful way that invites people to meet one another where they are at, without judgment, and understand that we each have our own story and path to follow. He firmly believes that the services he provides is something he does in order to care for the women in his many communities - unfortunately due to so many frivolous laws being passed particularly in the Deep South, he travels weekly to several states, including Mississippi where there is exactly one clinic that provides abortion services.

There are so many great passages in the text and even as I type this, I am contemplating if I will just share them and say, "See here, this is important" and be done with it. Or if I will go into detail and make this review even longeeeeerrrrrrrr. Seriously, I had so many notes it was kind of ridiculous. Even so, his words are important and the way in which he came to these beliefs, as a Christian, are so crucial to understanding how one can both BE a Christian and support a woman's right to choose.

Dr. Parker addresses the issues head-on of what he perceives to be one of the unspoken, underlying reasons that some right-leaning politicians are so in favor of ending Roe v. Wade. He does not shy away from the racial implications, particularly when talking about those who use the platform of abortion to claim it is a form of black genocide (a tactic that angers him greatly).

"The truth, I am convinced, is that the people behind the black genocide movement, like Priests for Life and Life Dynamics, do not care about black babies and black women. These are often the same people who want to do away with public housing, I want support state-sponsored child care. Theirs is a feigned concern. they are using women of color as pawns in a much bigger game...Their goal…Is not, actually to curtail abortion services for poor women and women of color. It's to limit access to abortion for all women, including, and especially, white women because the thing all too many white anti-abortion activist really want, which they can't say out loud, is for white women to have more babies, in order to push back against the browning of America..As we march toward the reality that, by 2050, no one racial or ethnic group will hold a proportional majority in this country, racial suicide paranoia bounds. And for the white racist legislators in the red states, nothing is more threatening than a majority-brown country; it strips them of their historic power... (page 164)"

Dr. Parker goes on to add...

"The white people who are still in charge believe that if their women don't start having lots of babies, they - the white patriarchs - are going to become obsolete.

100 years ago, a white politician with the same fear who looked to exert control over female fertility would just say so...Theodore Roosevelt encouraged white women to do their duty and have at least two children, or else contemplate "race suicide." In these times, such a bold articulation of racist values is impossible. Too many of their own women are working and going to school, running businesses. running for political office, and taking birth control pills: any outward pressure on daughters or sisters or wives to have more children would be risable..And so the white men in charge have invented a work-around. They've tied their antipathy toward abortion together with civil rights and the Black Lives Matter movement. They understand that by curtailing abortion for black women they curtail it for white women, too. It's a slight of hand, a misdirection. The way I see it, the attack on abortion rights is nothing less than an effort to put all women back in their place" (page 165).

I don't believe he is wrong about much of this. Controlling women's bodies is ultimately what the anti-abortion movement is about. They certainly do not have the right to call themselves pro-life. Pro-birth, yes. Pro-life, hell no.

I also appreciated Dr. Parker's explanation of his personal beliefs and his professional choices. I feel like this is extremely important, because were he to not do this, it would be easy for someone to try to make a point that he performs abortions with as little regard for the procedure as the woman supposedly using abortions as a method of birth control. (Seriously, do not even get me started on people who actually think this is a thing. An abortion is an invasive and physically uncomfortable/painful procedure. Not at all something that is done without thought.) I especially appreciated his thoughts on how he proceeds if he thinks a woman is there against her will. The world needs so many more providers like Dr. Parker, who truly cares about each woman he treats, and makes sure he is doing his absolute right by each and every one who seeks out his services.

"In keeping with my commitment to abide by the law, I also comply with every TRAP regulation, no matter how unjust or discriminatory I believe it to be. I do this because it's more important to me to provide abortions than to not provide them, and because I understand that my reputation for being an excellent provider of 'safe and legal' abortion is all I have; the minute I resort to guerrilla tactics, I have given away the higher ground" (page 194).

and

"In my work, I abide by the consensus, established by Roe and by medical science, around "viability." According to Roe, the state has a compelling interest to protect the life of a fetus only when it reaches the point where can survive outside the womb with the aid of medical technology. I will not terminate a pregnancy beyond 25 weeks. For a million reasons, this boundary makes sense to me. For one thing, although abortion is very safe, it gets riskier as the gestational age of the fetus increases. I don't feel comfortable assuming that risk-especially if a woman's only rationale for wanting to terminate is her personal preference. I won't do it. If you're 28 weeks and you just don't want to be pregnant, or you just don't want to give birth-that's not an appropriate use of my skills" (page 194).

and

"I also refuse to perform abortions on women who I believe are being coerced. So many factors play into a woman's decision that this can be hard to discern. Every kind of woman winds up on my table, and I don't interrogate the circumstances of their life, because personal details are outside my purview… But at the same time, I do everything I can to explore what for me the central question, which has two parts. First: Have you made this decision yourself? And second: are you resolved about it? A woman is entitled to her own regret, as well as her own inner conflict and moral ambivalence. But I will not do an abortion if I sense that it is not her own desire" (page 195).

and

"When a woman tells me that her boyfriend has threatened to kill her or beat her if she does not terminate, I will refuse to perform her abortion. I have no reason to disbelieve you, I will say. But this is a legal problem, and I am a doctor, not a lawyer and not a police officer. We will help you get into a shelter. We will help you get a restraining order against your boyfriend. If, after you get yourself away from your boyfriend, you find that terminating the pregnancy is something that you want to do, well then, I am here next Wednesday through Friday and the clinic opens at seven in the morning" (page 198).

and

"I am sure of what my job is and what it isn't. I do not perform abortions on women who do not want them. If a mother is threatening to withhold support, or love, or shelter from her pregnant daughter, I will make sure the girl understands what that means for her. It's good for you to know now that if you want to carry this pregnancy forward, you won't have your mother's support. If you want to have this baby, we can figure out ways to get you help. We can help you find a place to live. But it's good for you to know early on that you're on your own. By framing the girl's reality in these terms, she may see her situation differently. She may consider, realistically, how it will be to raise a child on her own as a teenager and she may come to a different decision. Or she may not" (page 199).

Dr. Parker briefly touched on religious groups who support reproductive rights and I found this extremely helpful. It is kind of embarrassing that, at age thirty-six, I did not realize groups like that existed, because I guess I just assumed they didn't. But here he talks about groups that he refers to as "brave and righteous leaders for reproductive rights" who "have been so widely ignored, for decades by the public and press" (page 208). I've spent much of my time since finishing this book seeking out information about said groups, with utter fascination, really.

Dr. Parker's professional choices are not without risks, as he also points out more than once. He refers to the day a fellow provider, Dr. George Tiller, was murdered in his own church as he served that Sunday morning as an usher, and how difficult that was. But on the other hand, Dr. Parker is also quick to point out that while some providers (particularly in the Deep South) go to the lengths of wearing disguises to conceal their identities as they enter the various clinics they work at, that he himself is one of the best disguises of all. While not dismissing the risks entirely, he says, "My best protection is my every day self. I can walk around in plan sight because no one on earth expects a large, bald, black man in sweats and a baseball cap to be a doctor, let alone one of the last abortion doctors in the south" (page 129).

Dr. Parker's sentiments on the current and future laws regulating abortions and providers who can perform this service are crucial. As touched on above, while Roe v. Wade is still the federal law of the land, bit by bit so many states have passed laws that are making it more and more difficult for clinics that provide abortions to remain open. He cites specifics such as mandating that these clinics have hallways wide enough to maneuver a gurney through (despite the fact that clinics have no need for using gurneys), and other requirements that are so obviously meant to cost the clinics so much money in renovations that they simply can not comply, and end up closing as a result of being out of compliance with new and increasingly over-the-top mandates. Another major obstacle revolves around the admitting privileges of doctors who provide abortions. Some states are now requiring a doctor preforming abortions to have admitting privileges at  a hospital in the area. Dr. Parker points out how this, too, is meant to curtail the doctors' abilities to serve patients who need them; many hospitals are unlikely to grant such privileges for a number of reasons and once more we see clinics closing in the areas that often need them most. And also in many cases, even if a clinic is able to comply with all of these demands, it can often be just as difficult for a woman needing an abortion to even get there in the first place.

"Increasingly, limited or no access to abortion is a reality. 89% of US counties have no abortion provider at all; nearly 40% of American women of reproductive age live in these counties. This means on average, a woman has to drive 30 miles to a clinic, more than 50 if she lives in a rural area-and more if she seeks an abortion after 20 weeks" (page 180).

This is not okay. There are a myriad of reasons why a woman might seek an abortion, and not a single one of those reasons is anyone's damn business except the woman making the decision. So when lawmakers very obviously go out of their way to throw up as many obstacles as possible in a woman's path, they are choosing to ignore the pesky little part of the law that says ABORTION IS LEGAL IN ALL FIFTY STATES. Women must band together and fight for our rights of body autonomy, no matter what walk of life we come from, another point that Dr. Parker makes: "When it comes to protecting the right to safe and legal abortion, all women are sisters. A legal threat to abortion access for a poor, African-American woman is a legal threat to a white woman, too. A state wide ban on 20-week abortions affects every woman, no matter what her income or where her kids go to school. It might be easy to look away from the plights of women like those who come to the clinics where I work but if lawmakers succeed in stripping away the rights of poor women to obtain abortions, they will also be quietly but inexorably stripping away all women's rights. Solidarity is the best defense...I have seen the solidarity at work, especially in recovery rooms. After abortions, women are frequently volatile, awash with relief or tearful at the end of a long inner journey. Frequently I have seen two women, virtual strangers, black and white, holding hands across their bed rails, one woman in the midst of her emotional turbulence and the other one helping her through it" (page 182).

There are still so many more passages I feel are hugely important and want to share, but I am also finding that this review has become wildly out of control. I realize that many I quoted were long, but I do sincerely hope that at least one thing here has given you pause to think about your own opinion and perspective. Here I will take my leave, dropping these last couple morsels for you to mull over, as I have done repeatedly since finishing this hugely important text:

"Talking openly about abortion should be something that happens in church, and not suppressed by religious authorities in the interest of preserving their own power. Women should find healing and understanding in church, not stigma and shame" (page 210).

"As a Christian, I feel that it's my job to help offer a counternarrative: that God gave every woman gifts and the agency to realize those gifts, and that nothing about choosing to terminate a pregnancy or to delay childbearing puts a woman outside of God's love" (page 69).

"The earth spun, and with it, this question turned on its head. It became not: is it right for me, as a Christian, to perform abortions? But rather: is it right for me, as a Christian, to refuse to do them?" (page 36).

"The procedure room in an abortion clinic is a sacred as any other space to me, because that's where I am privileged to honor your choice. In this moment, where you need something that I am trained to give you, God is meeting both of us where we are" (page 212).

Highly highly recommended.

Hosanna!

Hosanna!

On this beautiful Palm Sunday, I start the book I read every year in this Holy Week, the last week of Jesus' earthly life.

 

I love this book for many reasons. There are maps and diagrams, in addition to the most important content of all: the details from the Gospel regarding what Jesus and His followers did each day of the week. It starts with Jesus' triumphant arrival in Jerusalem, His movements throughout the week, through the Crucifixion, then the empty tomb, and the revelation that He is Risen. I am especially thankful for a book like this, because it lays out side by side what each book of the Gospel says in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. I think this is incredibly important, and am so grateful that is something my pastor spoke at length about at today's sermon. All of our perspectives are different, we each have our own reality as it fits into the larger world. That the four books of the Gospel all contain different and similar details makes sense, as each person paid attention to different goings-on. That is so important to remember, particularly when someone tries to say it did not happen because the stories are too different. In reality, they are not that different, each is focused on different aspects of the Resurrection and what those witnesses saw.

Happy Palm Sunday!

Sarah

Review Bomb: Christian History

I am especially fond of books that detail Biblical figures, their time periods, and those involved in the Reformation. I love when we are able to take a look at figures from the Bible, and then place them in their proper context. These three books fit the bill perfectly.

 4 Stars

I absolutely adored this book and found so many women of interest, some who I did not even know were part of the Bible. Through their in-depth stories, we see how each of these women were chosen by God to play a role in the story He is creating. I appreciated that the authors listed all Bible-mentions of each woman in her chapter, as well as her biography and role in the Bible. There is also a 'By the Numbers" section detailing some details about how many children the woman had, and such. I found value especially in the section where the authors asked questions they wondered about, which were not answered in the text. It was interesting to see that others had questions similar to mine over the years, but also that others had questions I have never considered before.

I feel like this could be a great book to use as a Bible study, or a youth group for teen girls. These women all face difficulties in their lives, but overcome those difficulties by faith, trusting God to provide. There are so many great role models to choose from, that this would be very useful in youth ministry. However, I found so much value in it, just reading it for myself. It is not necessary for a group-read, but you might find it interesting to explore further questions together, as everyone brings a different perspective to each story.

Some readers might be just as surprised by the women left out as the ones who are included. We all know the stories of Eve, Sarah, Tamar, Esther, Ruth and so on, but there are women included here that we do not even have a name for - the widow of Nain, the woman sinner, the bleeding woman, and several others. I had no set list of women in mind when I started reading, so I suppose I was not nearly as bothered by some of the exclusions as other readers might be. Here you will not find Rachel, Leah, or Miriam.

The authors do a wonderful job of bringing these women to life. Each woman has her own story, not only who she is in relation to her husband, father, or son. Throughout history, God has used women to further His message. Some of these women were not what would have been considered 'desirable' - a prostitute, an unclean (ill) woman, even those of other backgrounds - Moabites, Canaanites, etc. It is refreshing to see these women given their due in shaping The Story.

 4 Stars

Books like this are among my most favorite. I love Biblical history and archaeology, and these kinds of books that put Jesus in the context of the period. Learning about various aspects of life in that period will never stop be interesting to me and books like this are such wonderful supplements to Bible study.

I have questions. Lots of them. I am texting my pastor constantly asking why this happened, or what those actions meant. He is always patient in his answers - and of course loans me so many books, and points me in the direction of further reading material if he doesn't have a copy himself.

One of the most intriguing periods in history to me is that 400 year period between Malachi and Matthew. Until I returned to church and found my faith again a few years ago, this was something I had never thought about in years prior to college when I was still involved in my church at home. But I really started thinking about this as I returned to reading my Bible more and more, and based on sermons over the last couple years. I was excited to find this text, and share it with my pastor. Naturally I have even more questions, but that's to be expected, right?

This text is absolutely great, and I learned so much about this period that was supposedly so quiet. In truth, it was anything but.

Based on was seems to be sound scholarship, the author presents these 'missing' years. We follow the journey of the Jewish people as they leave captivity in Babylon, along the entire path that leads us right up to the ministry of Jesus. Even though, the story continued further as the author details Jewish history up to the destruction of the  I feel like this really added so much to my Bible knowledge, as I was able to see God still working among His people, even when things looked as though the end of the line had come for the Israelites. We know that God will not let that happen, though their enemies did not. Time and again the Jewish people survived - from the Babylonians to the Romans, and everyone in between.

I appreciated the materials covered in this book for a number of reasons. Now, there are not really any questions I am too embarrassed to ask my pastors. They have the patience of saints and kind of expect this kind of thing from me; I question Every.Thing. (What's the difference between the Pharisees, Essenes, and Sadducees? What makes a Zealot? Why did the Jews dislike the Samaritans so much? How were Pilate and Herod placed within the hierarchy of the Roman government?) But this book was able to answer a lot of those questions, and I will definitely be looking for a hard copy to keep in my collection. Each chapter also includes really thought-provoking questions - right up my alley!

This is not just a reference book though, it is so much more and certainly deserves a place next to your Bible. Understanding not only what God was doing at that time, but what the world looked like, really helped me to better understand what Jesus was up against, so to speak. The world was rapidly changing and wars were being fought culturally, physically, and spiritually. Given the historical components here, I do think those interested in ancient history would still find value in the book, even if they do not subscribe to any brand of Christianity. It is also written in a very accessible way, even while dealing with such a scholarly subject. There is plenty of background provided on Alexander the Great and the Maccabees, and how they fit into the narrative. We learned about the Hasmonean dynasty, and quite a bit about Herod and his family.

The only real complaint I have is not much of a complaint at all. I wish there would have been some graphics. Chronologies would have been helpful, family lines (at least when dealing with all the Herods) and such. Maps also would have added a layer of depth. Even so, highly recommended.

 5 Stars

I was on the fence as soon as I started this one and was greeted with these words:

"Henry's Roman Catholic daughter Mary dragged the country back into medieval Roman Catholicism, executing so many Protestants that she is known as Bloody Mary" (1%). 

Ugh. Why does everyone forget the executions carried out in Elizabeth's reign, hmmm?

Anyway.

This was one of the many books I picked up in my spree of Luther-related anniversary books. As the 500th approached last year, I was looking for something related to women of the Reformation, and this was perfect. Despite my Lutheran upbringing, there are so few figures I know about from this period, and those I do know about are male.

The author has taken what was originally a series of articles that were compiled by James I. Good in 1901. He titled his work "Famous Women of the Reformed Church". VanDoodewaard took Good's content and revised and expanded where she could, and also corrected previous inaccuracies that might have existed. As the author sought to include lesser-known women of the age, she removed chapters on Katharina von Bora and Jane Grey. She succeeded quite nicely in reaching her goal, as I was unfamiliar with nearly every women in the book as it is today. There is a plethora of information included here overall, though as to be expected there is some information lacking in some cases. While it would be lovely to know entire life stories, it simply is not possible from this period, especially when talking about women, no matter how important they were to the Reformation.

These women survived some truly devastating events, and continued not only to keep strong in their faith, but worked to deepen it and even spread the idea of the Reformation when it was dangerous to do so. These women were writers, teachers, and  caregivers in addition to being sisters, wives, and mothers. Even as they performed their domestic duties, they served God faithfully while dealing with triumph and loss. Many women lost husbands and/or sons, either to war, persecution, or even forced removal of their children from the home to be placed with Catholic families instead. Combine that with the normal devastations of the time -sickness - and life was doubly hard. Even so, the women continued with their purpose. This is a lovely collection of stories about women who deserve to be as well-known as their male counterparts. Highly recommended.

Review Bomb: Pop Culture/Social Media

Time for another review bomb. I am liking this format much better, especially for books that I did not really care for/weren't for me. This time around the topic is, as you probably guessed by the title, about pop culture and social media. Two of the books focus directly on social media, and one is about paparazzi/celebrities. Unfortunately none of the books were that great, but perhaps you will see something in them that I did not.

 2 Stars (for me), 4 Stars (for its actual target audience)

This book was poorly placed. I found it while browsing in the adult non-fiction section of my fave Christian bookstore. Had it been in the teen/young adult section, no problem, I would not have purchased it. But even reading the back did not indicate right away that it was geared toward a younger crowd. I am 35, and while Facebook and I have been together now for thirteen and a half years, I am beyond the age of needing something like this.

That being said, this would be a fantastic book for a youth group to read (and as such, I have given my copy to our youth pastor so he can look over it and use it as he needs it. There are a lot of great discussion questions scattered throughout and plenty of Scripture as well. In looking at it from a parental perspective, it would also be a great one for parents to read WITH their teen. I think it would open up some really honest lines of communication to help these young adults and teens trying to navigate this completely tech-saturated world we now live in. That's something they don't seem to understand, once you put something online, it loves forever. Even if you delete it, it is never really gone.

The author makes another great point that nothing online is really as it appears. One of my pastors also talked about this in a sermon a couple weeks ago - you don't see anyone posting pictures of their dirty kitchens or their perfect little angels turning into demons and having meltdowns in the grocery store. It is a harder concept I think for teens and even young adults to grasp - you see what people want you to see and a lot of time it is just a mirage. The author discusses this and encourages her readers to really think about this and why that social media presence is so important to them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 3 Stars

For being such a slim volume, there was a lot more research included than I thought there would me. My initial assumption was that this would be another quasi-celeb (Stolz was a contestant on America's Next Top Model, then a host for MTV) memoir about ridiculous social media-related anecdotes. It was that, completely, but not as shallow as I anticipated. Stolz backs up much of what she is saying with research. It was not terrible, and she is a decent writer. It is also a fairly quick read. Her addiction to social media is a little alarming though. Like, slow down. Seriously. On the other hand, it was great that Stolz was so honest about her own addiction to social media and the technology we have at our fingertips. She started the book by trying to go a week without her phone. I don't think I could do that, but not for social media reasons. I only have one single app on my phone - Goodreads. But I need my phone for things like driving directions and talking to my family, as I do not have a land line. I will be the first to admit that I was seriously addicted to Facebook, especially when it first came out (I have had an account since 2005, way back when it was only for specific colleges' students). But now I am a mom and I spend most of my time on Facebook posting pictures of my daughter and I and our various adventures, as our family is two states away and we only get to go home twice a year. I have considered more than once deleting social media accounts, but then that kind of puts the kibosh on my blog. I mainly use Twitter to talk about books I am reading, to interact with authors and fellow bloggers, and harass Dan Jones (which I also use Facebook for). When my laptop was out of commission for a week not too long ago, it was MAGICAL. I could still access Facebook and Twitter on my phone, but I did not really want to. A social media break would do everyone a lot of good every so often - Stolz included!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 2 Stars...and that's being generous

I have to be honest and admit that I went through a celeb-obsessed phase. I would read all the weeklies - US Magazine, In Touch, etc. That time also coincided with my eating disorder so I was also pouring over the pages filled with 'thinspiration' actresses who always seemed to be a kind of thin that I could not attain.

This though...is different. For three years Buhl became the one taking the photos, and getting them sold to those magazines I needed each week. And her thought process is kind of...warped.

The tidbits about the celebs she covered was really interesting and in that aspect this was a perfect summer read that requires no real thought or effort to think - except for the occasional 'Did she really just think/say that?' - and is a quick read. It was when Buhl's personal life began weaving in, as always happens with careers/jobs, and that was less interesting to me. It was obviously important to her own story, and her pregnancy provided an exit from being a paparazzi, but still.

The weirdest thing about this was to me was her perception of the celebs she covered regularly. Celebs and the Paparazzi are not friends; they can't be, based on their actual relationship of one person making gobs of cash off photos of the other. That part came across as really delusional, specifically in her interactions with Katherine Heigle. "Katie" was nice and polite to Buhl, but seriously, they were not friends. It was weird that she even thought that, for the briefest of moments. And don't even get me started on the whole weird thing with Adrian Grenier.

Despite my disdain for people who make a living off invading the privacy of others (I'm talking about the celebs out grocery shopping with their kids, not those tipping off the paparazzi about their location), it was kind of interesting to get a look at the job from the inside. Buhl discusses the tools of the trade and all the tips/tricks she learned on the job. Example: If you are in an elevator with a celeb, don't you dare snap a single picture. Once you're out of the elevator though, the celeb is fair game. Can you imagine how awkward that elevator ride would be if they knew you were to take a zillion pictures of them? Yeesh. She is also kind of contradicting of herself at times. Buhl goes on about all the things a celeb can do in order to diminish their appeal to the paparazzi, but then also discusses the lengths she personally went to in order to get shots of certain celebs who very much liked to keep their private lives private - case in point, Jennifer Aniston. The whole thing with Kate Bosworth was pretty bullshit too. Bosworth is apparently very protective of her privacy, as she has the right to be - she (and any celeb) doesn't owe anyone anything, especially in the comfort of her own home. Yet Buhl recounts a story of spying on Bosworth at home, using binoculars and states, "We relish how infuriated Kate would be, if only she knew." Are you kidding me? You're kind of an awful human for that.

Extra Special Treasure!

Pretty much any time my pastor mentions ancient references to Jesus from other cultures around the world, I am at rapt attention. Last week he mentioned the Chinese references to the skies darkening during the Crucifixion. I asked if he had any texts about it, and he told me about this one, which is no easy book to find. Not only did he let me look at the book, he let me borrow it - complete with the page already marked as to where the references are. I am terrified I am going to somehow lose it or damage it, and I feel like I should probably wear gloves so the oils on my skin do not hurt it in any way. It's THAT special. I am really loving it, seeing the translations from Chinese to English, and the commentary. I highly recommend it to anyone who, like me, really enjoys seeking out non-Biblical sources on Jesus. Finding Him in other ancient texts is such a cool thing.

Happy Reading!

Sarah

Palm Sunday: The Final Days of Jesus

This is not a review, but a celebration of this day - Palm Sunday. Service this morning was wonderful, as usual. And we sang one of my most favorite songs.

Today is the day Jesus arrived in Jerusalem, and so began the last week of His earthly life. Every year, starting today, I go back to a book I love dearly. 

It is a fantastic volume that details day by day this last week. The book lays out the different books of the Gospel, looking at the similarities and differences. Each day I read the corresponding chapter and am filled with His word. I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants to look at the events day by day. In addition there are photos, texts, charts, and Scripture references. It is a beautiful text that I look forward to every year.

Happy Reading!

Sarah

Messy Grace: How a Pastor with Gay Parents Learned to Love Others Without Sacrificing Conviction

Rating: I don't know

I am not quite sure what I was expecting out of this one. I do know it is the first book I have ever seen in a Christian bookstore that has a pride flag on it, and that alone piqued my interest. The subtitle still made me wary, and the title downright annoyed me. The former because I thought it might end up being yet another Christian telling gay people how "wrong" they are, and the latter because grace is not messy. Grace is perfect each and every time, WE are the messy part.

The author is a pastor now, though growing up he was not a Christian and instead was on the other side of the fence, watching how so-called Christian treated his family. Kaltenbach's biological parents, who divorced when he was two, are both gay. His mother began a relationship with a woman named Vera that lasted until Vera's death many years later. His father did not come out until after Kaltenbach finished college. In high school he joined a Bible study group in order to disprove the Bible, he says, only to find himself drawn to Christ, eventually becoming a Christian.

I had to take a long pause between finishing the book (which I did in a couple hours) and writing the review. This subject is deeply personal to me because for one, I believe that love is love and God does not make mistakes. Because God does not make mistakes, He intentionally created both heterosexuals and homosexuals. So, my issue is first and foremost a from the human perspective of, "Don't be a shitty person to someone who is different from you." My second reason is because there have been several fabulous men throughout my life who have been my very best friends. Some of us have drifted apart as we grew up and moved on from college, some of us are still going strong, and some of us have come to know one another later in life. Any way you slice it, God created these men in my life, and the countless others who identify as LGBTQIA. I spent a significant amount of time texting my pastor as I was reading, bombarding him with all kinds of questions. As an aside, he and I discussed church outreach and the fact that our church needs to be better at this aspect. I actually gave him the book the next day at church, and I am really excited to be part of the future ministry involving our LGBTQIA brothers and sisters. I know my position is at odds with the official church position on gay marriage, etc, but I know this kind of ministry is also part of my purpose and God will use me in some way. I am very much looking forward to that opportunity. There is a list of questions near the end of the book that deal with a variety of scenarios and how your church might respond to any of them. Questions such as, "If a transgender woman wants to join the women's Bible study, would that be allowed?" and vice versa if the situation involved a transgender male. Of course to all of these questions I am personally saying, of course! But I know that may not be the reaction of others, and time and again I was reminded that I am not part of the author's target audience. Or, I should say that I am but in an opposite way of his main audience; I have the part where he calls all Christians to love ALL neighbors, not just some. I do not, however, necessarily agree with the theological aspects and in that way, I would be what he considers someone for his target audience because in his eyes I am not "loving with truth". 

Naturally given my stance on this issue, I did have an issue with some of the statements the author made. The first was this one:

"We can accept others as friends and family without approving of their life choices" (47%).

That's great, except being gay is no more a choice than being straight is. I never sat around thinking about it, and then chose being straight. That is just how I have always been. I am attracted to males, as a female, and that is how God made me. The same holds true for so many of my gay friends. I can not even count the number of times we've had deep conversations about a myriad of issues involving gay rights, and so many express to me that they knew very early on that they were attracted to other boys. we're talking elementary school here - and this should not be surprising, seeing as how we have all had those playground crushes, chasing the object of our affection around. The other telling piece for me is that in these same conversations, many have also expressed the sentiment that their lives would be easier if they were straight (but keep in mind, all of these conversations took place prior to the monumental Supreme Court ruling that finally said same-sex marriage was legal in all 50 States). Please genuinely think about that - so many individuals I loved and cared about, wishing they could change this huge part of who they were.

I also took issue with this one:

"Nevertheless, the account of this event back in Genesis does say that the men of Sodom were aggressively seeking to have sex with Lot's visitors (angels who had taken the appearance of human males)" (38%).

What an interesting way to describe...RAPE. Can we please stop equating sex and rape? Not the same thing.

Perhaps my biggest issue of all is the choices that the author presents as viable alternatives to people of the LGBTQIA community. In order to stay true and faithful to God, he says that there are one of two choices:

1. Be celibate

2. Marry someone of the opposite sex

"Since God designed sexual intimacy for a man and a woman, I believe celibacy is the right choice for people with same-sex attraction. In fact, it's not only the right choice, but it's a good choice for them, one they can embrace with gratitude" (60%).

I just can't believe that this is the best option, and one they should be grateful for. I struggle to reconcile the fact that God did create us as sexual beings, and He created ALL of us, yet one of those groups He created is to either remain celibate or enter into a heterosexual marriage. Why would God create such a scenario? 

One thing I truly did appreciate about this book is the author's attempt to tear down this barrier and do away with the mentality of an "us vs them" kind of situation. You have "Christians" like those fools from Westboro who spew venom about God hating gay people, and then everyone wonders why an LGBTQIA person might be wary of church in general. Plus you have all the additional crap spewed  but those who are not remotely connected to Westboro also being really awful, so basically no one should really wonder why he also uses his own situation as an example, stating how when he decided to become a Christian, and told his parents, they both reacted very negatively. In fact, his "coming out" Christian to them, reads very much like an LGBTQIA person coming out to their family and receiving a negative response. I feel that due to the author's own experience of being rejected in a way, that he understands how those on the other side feel and that is why he repeatedly says Christians must be gracious and compassionate.

Still, this book is tough for me in many ways, but it all ultimately comes back to the two choices presented as the only viable options: celibacy or heterosexual marriage. Even while the author states time and again that Christians must look at how they treat others who are different, and must be compassionate, loving, and kind, it doesn't seem real. Or, maybe real is not the right word, and I do not for a moment doubt the author's sincerity, but I am not even quite sure what word I am looking for. I also appreciate the author's honesty is stating that the reader may disagree with some parts of the book while whole-heartedly agreeing with others, and that is okay because he is not a theologian and does not ever claim to be. He too is still learning and figuring things out for himself. But time and again he calls for Christians to be gracious. Not in a patronizing kind of way, but a true and gracious way of loving others as Jesus commanded and loved us.

One important point to make is that this text does not discuss why people are gay. He does not even attempt to argue for or against anything related to that aspect. He also does not even really go into detail about how the Bible discusses homosexuality. There is a chapter that does relate the Bible's teachings, but that is not the focus or the purpose of the text. His aim is to get Christians to understand why they must do as Christ said and really truly be that loving and kind person. It is really not that hard and personally I have always found the "Don't be a douche" approach to be fantastic - and it really works for any situation. Then again, my views on homosexuality differ greatly from official position of many denominations at this point, so I can not really be of much help in that area.

I have now spent the last three nights trying to write this review and I am pretty sure it is one of the worst reviews I have ever written. I have been half-tempted to delete it at least six times now. I think because this topic is so deeply personal to me it really is hard for me to be objective. But I know this about myself, so perhaps I will just end here with whatever haphazard arguments I may have made and leave you to make up your own mind. While I feel the book made some good points - especially in the whole 'be kind' department (which should be common sense for Christians, but isn't, because we are humans, and pretty awful), it still felt like the undercurrent was a little darker. There is no real answer for what the future will hold for someone who both commits to being a follower of Jesus, yet identifies with the LGBTQIA community. The whole celibacy/hetero marriage thing seems overly simple and also more than a bit hypocritical. After all, there are plenty of things we were not supposed to do, according to the Bible, and a lot of those things are set aside. However, the bottom line is what I have been stating time and again as it relates to the author's point of view - there is no reason to treat someone poorly because they are different from you. This is not confined to only interactions with LGBTQIA, so keep that in mind also.